


Broken

by larryftnoctrl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Child Abuse, Forgive Me, Graphic Depiction of Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm, dark past harry, first fic, in one scene, it shouldn't be triggering tho, it's very poorly written, louis and harry's families are mentioned, louis is there for him, mentions of self harm, only mentions of eleanor, this is so cliche why, this is very cliche, ziam is mainly there in 2 chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-19 04:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 37,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4733108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryftnoctrl/pseuds/larryftnoctrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He's a delicate thing. Like a rose. He's gorgeous but he has his thorns. Fresh as dew. I just want to bundle him up in warmth and keep him happy, always."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic that was originally posted on wattpad but I decided to test ao3. The prologue makes me cringe so please don't judge the story based off the prologue. leave a comment and kudos :)
> 
> Note from the future (14th August 2017):  
> I wrote this fic as a 13-14 year old who was completely new to the LGBT community in general. There is probably unrealistic/unhealthy depiction of many elements such as struggles with sexuality/child abuse. I'm sorry to anyone I offend with ignorant statements and views of the characters. If you're easily butthurt, don't read this because there are ignorant remarks in this and no I will not change them.
> 
> While this fic may not correctly even depict how well or how poorly I write, this was my first fic in this fandom and my first fic I ever completed. I do not intend on taking it down or being embarrassed of it because it serves as a reminder to how much I've evolved as a writer. If you still choose to read this, thank you very much, I hope I don't disappoint.

Louis Tomlinson. Class clown. The popular guy. Great pianist. Great footie player.

Harry Styles. The introvert. Maybe mute? The wallflower. The genius. Nobody knows and nobody ever cared.

Louis didn't care either. But all of a sudden, Harry was everywhere. He was in his English class, in his music class, in his lunch and most importantly in his mind.

He's hooked. He's hooked to the mystery, to the wallflower, to the boy who's voice has never been heard.

"Mr Tomlinson, are you done daydreaming?" The teacher asks sharply snapping Louis back to reality.

"Yes ma'am." He smiles, the answer quick and unashamed.

"Good. Let's get right back to class then."

"Ready when you are." He gives her a charming smile and she raises her eyebrows before going back to teaching.

She begins asking questions and everyone silently prays not to be called on.

"Payno, stop kicking me chair." Louis hisses.

"You've been staring at Styles for the past 15 minutes. Get it together!!"

"Payne, Tomlinson, would you like to share something with the class?" The teacher asks irritably.

"Sorry ma'am." Liam murmurs.

Zayn snickers. "You people just can't keep it down can you?"

"Mr Horan, I'd like you to answer the question.

All of them look at Niall who like looks lost. Liam quickly whispers the answer to him and he answers as confidently as possible.

"That's the wrong answer." She glares at him and they all laugh under their breath.

He sits down huffily. "Bloody wanker." He kicks Liam's shin.

"Fuck you man." Liam curses, hand immediately shooting down to rub his shin.

"Cool down, Li." Zayn raises his eyebrows.

"But he just kicked me." Liam pouts.

"Stop being a baby, Payno." Louis chides

"Hey, don't be mean Lou." Zayn says patronizingly.

"You deserved that kick." Niall huffs.

"Horan, Tomlinson, Malik, Payne, if you're done can we move on."

All of them have the decency to look at least slightly ashamed. But of course, being the annoying little shits they are, they go right back to talking.

Harry smiles to himself. He finds the four of them very amusing, especially Louis.

"Mr Styles, please answer the question."

Louis looks over at Harry and see him stand up with wide eyes, like a deer in the headlights. He blankly looks at the teacher. Does the teacher not know he doesn't talk or she just flat out insane.

"Mr Styles do you want me to repeat the question?" She asks.

Harry shakes his head no.

"Then I suggest you answer, I won't tolerate muteness from my students."

Harry panics and looks around for help.

Louis stands up. "Ma'am he's uncomfortable with talking, he can write the answer down though."

"Is that so Mr Styles?" She asks raising an eyebrow.

Harry nods vigorously.

She gestures to the board and Harry goes up to write down the answer. He sits back down and Louis looks at him expecting a thank you. Nothing. Not even a nod acknowledging him.

I frown. "That's rude." Louis pouts turning to Zayn.

"What is?" He turns sideways to face him.

"Harry didn't even acknowledge me."

"Mate, he barely acknowledges the teachers." Zayn laughs. Louis frowns.

The bell rings and prevents Louis from making further argument.

"It's rude to not say thank you." Louis calls out loudly as he picks up his stuff

Harry turns and looks at Louis weirdly but just bows his head in a way of thanking him and makes the boy smile happily.

"I'll make do with that for now."


	2. I

**Louis POV**

It's kinda funny. Hundreds of people at school. Only one catches my attention. One who won't even speak. I wonder what goes on in that little head of his. What makes him so quiet? What has happened? He is no freak, I am sure of that, but who is he?

"Anybody home?" Zayn knocks on my forehead snapping me out of my trance.

I laugh. "Sorry, zoned out for a bit there." I say.

"We noticed." Niall deadpans looking at Zayn and Liam.

I take a bite of my lunch and blanch, putting down the sandwich.  _'W_ _hy_ _the_ _hell_ _is_ _this_ _shit_ _so_ _disgusting_ _?'_

"Trying repeatedly won't make it better, Louis." Liam reasons with an exaggerated eye roll.

"I know, why can't we have decent food here?"

They shrug. "Lou, red alert. Eleanor coming in." Niall warns as I groan.

That girl is one mighty pain in the ass. Doesn't she get it? I don't like her, she just won't stop pestering me.

"Hey Louis!" She sits down next to me.

"Hey Elizabeth." I sigh tiredly, purposely trying to annoy her.

"It's Eleanor, silly. You should know that by now."

"Sorry, I just don't care." I say bluntly hoping she'd get the hint.

"Come on, Lou. I know you like me. What's stopping you?"

"Uh-Louis- I guess we'll see you around." Zayn mumbles uncomfortably, getting up, immediately followed by Niall and Liam, leaving me to deal with Eleanor.

"I don't like you Eleanor, please just leave me alone."

"Do you like someone else? I know you're openly bisexual so is it a guy? Some other girl?" She presses on relentlessly.

"No Eleanor. I just don't want a relationship right now."

"Louis you're 17, everyone wants a relationship at 17." She rolls her eyes.

I'm really starting to get fed up now. I exhale angrily and I walk off with her trailing behind me.

"Come on, Lou." She places her hand on my shoulder.

"Eleanor don't make me mad! Back off! I don't want you, go away! I'm getting real tired of your bullshit."

She gives me a look and stalks off. I sigh in relief.  _'_ _Thank_ _heavens_ _.'_  The bell rings and I rush to class. Taking my seat right at the back, I while away the time by playing games on my phone. I hate it when I have no friends in a class.

At the end of the day I decide I need to unwind and I settle on going to the music room. I'm about to enter the room when I hear a gentle singing voice. Deep and comforting.

 **_How can I make sure no one notices me_ **  
**_Don't want a conversation with nobody_ **  
**_And it hurts too much to say how I feel_ **  
**_What you don't know, is all I know_ **

**_How can I make sure that I fool everyone_ **  
**_Gonna wear a suit and tie_ **  
**_And put my bravest face on_ **  
**_And it's far to deep to show you this wound_ **  
**_No it won't heal no time soon_ **  
**_Nobody knows what I'm going through_ **

**_I'm dying inside_ **  
**_Who knows what I'm thinking_ **  
**_What I'm trying to hide_ **  
**_Yeah, I'm dying all night_ **  
**_I'm breathing but I can't feel life_ **  
**_I'm smiling but I'm dying inside_ **

**_How can I make sure_ **  
**_I'm invisible_ **  
**_I find just a simple phrase that may say it all_ **  
**_Cause it's far too soon and not the right time_ **  
**_What I've seen was for my eyes_ **

**_And how can I make sure_ **  
**_No one worries for me_ **  
**_Cause I don't need a helping hand_ **  
**_And don't want sympathy_ **  
**_Don't know what I need but know what I don't_ **  
**_What you can't see it feels so broke_ **  
**_That you can't see is how I'll cope_ **

**_'Cause I'm dying inside_ **  
**_Who knows what I'm thinking_ **  
**_What I'm trying to hide_ **  
**_Yeah, I'm dying all night_ **  
**_I'm breathing but I can't feel life_ **  
**_I'm smiling but I'm dying inside_ **

**_Want everyone around to think that I'm alright_ **  
**_Hope they assume I've left the dark and found the light_ **  
**_Want them to think that I don't cry myself to sleep at night_ **

**_ooh, ooh_ **

**_Yeah, I'm dying inside_ **  
**_Who knows what I'm thinking_ **  
**_What I'm trying to hide_ **  
**_Yeah, I'm dying all night_ **  
**_I'm breathing but I can't feel life_ **  
**_I'm smiling but I'm dying inside_ **

My eyes widen at the beauty of the song. The emotion and passion put in. It feels like the person singing relates to the song on a personal level. I am torn between wanting to know who it is and giving them their privacy. I mentally battle myself and finally my curiosity wins out.

I push the door wide open and the singing immediately ceases. I see a figure standing there shell-shocked but I can't make out who it is.

"Whose there?" I call out.

The ignores me and hiding his face, he pushes past me and out of the room.

I decide not to follow him and sigh.  _'_ _This_ _sucks_ _.'_  I was so close to finding out the source of that angelic voice. I walk into the room and notice that he has left his book bag behind. I quickly take a look through it, trying to find his name written somewhere. I finally pull out a notebook.

It's right there, staring up at me, almost  _teasing_ me, written in a curvy, neat script

 _Harry_   _E._ _Styles_

My eyes widen.  _Harry_ _?_ Wow, this is unexpected. The guy doesn't  _talk_  for heaven's sake. How can he sing so well? Now I  _have_ to talk to him. I need to. I sling his bag over my shoulder and begin to walk out when I notice his phone kept by the guitar stand.  _'_ _Does_ _he_ _play_ _too_ _?'_  I wonder incredulously. I slip his phone into my pocket when the realisation hits me,  _I_ _have_ _Harry's_ _phone_ _. '_ _This_ _is_ _my_ _chance_ _.'_ I pull it out again and quickly send a missed call to my number.  _'_ _There_ _.'_ I smirk in satisfaction as I walk out of the music room.

That is when I realise that I have no where Harry ran off to.  _'Should_ _I_ _call_ _his_ _home_ _number_ _?'_ I contemplate and decide against it.  _'_ _Would_ _the_ _school_ _authorities_ _give_ _me_ _his_ _address_ _?'_ I wonder, weighing my options. Deciding that it was worth a shot, I set off to the clerical office.

"Hi. How may I help you?" The last at the desk asks me.

"I was wondering if I could get Harry Styles' address?"

"I'm sorry, dear. I can't give out student information."

"He left his book bag and phone in the music room."

"You can give it back tomorrow." She states matter of factly.

"His homework is in there." I press.

"Sorry, but I really can't help you out here."

With a defeated sigh I walk out.  _'_ _What_ _do_ _I_ _do_ _?'_  I bite my lip, a bad nervous habit. I finally decide on calling his home number.

Pulling out his phone, I go to the contacts and find his home number. The phone rings as I wait nervously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all like this. Unless it wasn't clear italics with single inverted commas are Louis' thoughts the bold is lyrics. The song is called Dying Inside by Gary Barlow I chose it for its lyrics. Tell me your thoughts.


	3. II

**Louis POV**

"Hello?" I hear a woman's voice.  _'_ _Harry's_ _Mom_ _?'_

"Hi. Is this Harry's place?" I ask.

"Yes, but I'm afraid I don't recognise your voice."

"Sorry, I'm Louis Tomlinson, a friend of Harry's."

"Oh, I'm Harry's mother. Do you want me to put Harry on the line, if he speaks to you, that is." She laughs.

"No, he doesn't. But he left his book bag and phone in a hurry and his homework is in here."

"That careless boy! Would you mind terribly to drop it off here?"

"No, Mrs Styles, I don't mind, but I don't have your address."

"I'll text it to Harry's number if that's okay?"

"That's fine."

"Thank you, Louis." She says and hangs up.

Once I get the address, I get into my car and drive to Harry's place. I ring the doorbell and wait for the door to open.

The door swings open to reveal Harry on the other side. His eyes widen in panic and he tries to shut the door but I jam my foot between the door.  _'Ow._ _That_ _hurt_ _like_ _a_ _bitch_ _.'_ I wince.

"Calm down Harry!!! I'm not here to hurt you. You left your stuff behind in the music room so I just came to return that." I slide the bag off my shoulder and hold it out to him but he doesn't take it.

"Who's there, Harry?" I hear his mother's voice. She comes to the door. "Hi, are you Louis?" She asks.

"Yes."

"Come in, Louis," she turns to Harry "what is this Harry? The poor boy came all the way here to return your things and you don't even invite him in?"

She ushers me inside before I can protest, taking the bag from me. She tells me to make myself at home and I reluctantly sit down. Mum is expecting me home after all. I decide to quickly text her saying I'd be late. Harry starts going to his room but his mother stops him.

"Where do you think you're going, young man? Sit here and give your friend some company."

He sits as far away from me as possible  _'_ _Rude_ _.'_  I mentally pout. "Harry you also left your phone." I hold it out to him.

He looks at my hand with fear. I sense that something is wrong so I just cautiously put it on the coffee table and slide it towards him. "I'm just going to leave it here, okay?"

He shakily picks it up and pockets it fearfully. Mrs Styles comes back with two steaming mugs in her hands. "Some coffee for you guys." She says the mugs on the table.

"Thank you, Mrs Styles."

"Anne, please, Louis."

"Anne." I concede.

I pick up my mug and blow on it, taking a tiny sip observing Harry's fearful attitude over the rim.

He has himself tucked away into a corner and is tentatively sipping his coffee. The site is so sad, it just makes me want to wrap him up and shield him from everything.

"Harry..." I reach out to touch his arm but he recoils covering himself with his hands. "I won't hurt you, I promise." I whisper.

He violently shakes his head and I see tears falling from his eyes making me panic. "No, Harry, please don't cry. I'll leave okay? I'm going, just please don't cry." I quickly get up, downing the last of my coffee, I place my mug in the sink. "Thank you for the coffee, Anne. I'll be heading back home now."

"Come over anytime, Louis, it isn't often that Harry has people over."

I smile and walk out of the kitchen. Before leaving I turn to Harry and say "Bye Harry. I'll see you at school tomorrow. And I know you don't like to speak, so, you're welcome anyway. And yeah, you sing beautifully. I'd like to hear more of that." With that I walk out.

"Mum! I'm home!" I call out once I enter my house.

"Louis!! How was your day, love?" Mum asks coming out of her room and hugging me.

"It was good mum, how was yours?"

"Oh your sisters are a handful!" Mum sighs with exasperation.

"That reminds me, where are Daisy, Phoebe and Lottie?"

"Lottie is up in her room and Daisy and Phoebe are at a friend place."

I nod. "I'm going to go take a shower. I'm kind of tired."

"Sure. How does pasta sound for dinner?"

"Perfect." I peck her cheek and go to my room. Dropping my bag on my desk chair, I hop into the shower.

I can't help but think of how terrified Harry looked when I reached out to text him.  _'_ _What_ _was_ _that_ _all_ _about_ _anyway_ _?'_  I decide to text him

**Hey Harry, this is Louis . I'm sorry about scaring you earlier today.**

I wait for a while. It shows he's read my text but he won't respond.

"Louis!" I hear mum calling me.

"Yes mum?" I ask rushing downstairs.

"Can you pick up Daisy and Phoebe from their friend's place? I texted you the address."

"Sure, mum. Be back soon." I pick up my car keys and drive to the address. I knock on the door and wait. The door opens and I'm surprised to see Eleanor on the other side.

"Eleanor?"

"Louis, what are you doing here?"

"I must have the wrong address, Mum sent me to pick Daisy and Phoebe, I mean, my sisters."

"They're  _your_  sisters? I'll just go get them." She goes in and comes back with them.

"Louis!!" Daisy runs to me and jumps into my arms.

"Hey there, little one. How's my girl?" I ask as Phoebe comes over and hugs me, or rather my legs since she's so tiny.

"I missed you LouLou." Daisy kisses me.

"I missed you too." I say as I lift up Phoebe as well. "Let's go home yeah? Bye Eleanor." I seat and buckle up them in the car and drive home. They've fallen asleep. I smile.  _'_ _My_ _walking_ _balls_ _of_ _joy_ _.'_  I do love them to death. I carry them inside and tuck them in before going to my room to get my homework done.

After a while Mum calls me for dinner and I thunder downstairs because I'm so hungry.

"Hey Lottie, Dan." I nod at each of them in turn.

"Hello Louis. How was your day at school." Dan asks.

"It was good thanks."

After dinner I retire to my room and finish off my remaining work and get into bed. I decide to text  
Harry once more before I fall asleep.

 **Good night Harry. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Take care.**  With that done, I let sleep take over me.


	4. III

**Louis POV**

"Give it up already, Tommo. You know he won't budge." Zayn smirks seeing me look at Harry.

"He's scared. I don't know why, but he's so scared he can't even speak." I explain.

"Why? Do you think his parents are abusive?" Niall asks me.

"NO! Anne is a wonderful woman. She and Des split up but she's a wonderful person. She wouldn't lay a finger on Harry."

"How do you know so much about the Styles family?" Liam looks at me suspiciously.

"I've been to his house a few times over the past three weeks after the day he left his stuff behind."

"What do you do there? Talk to the walls? Because he sure as hell doesn't speak." Niall comments with a snigger.

"Don't be mean Niall. Yes he doesn't speak but I like to try. He will talk to me. One day, he will talk to me. You'll see." I say stubbornly and they all give me a sarcastic look as if to say  _'_ _Yeah_ _suuuuure_ _.'_

The bell rings and Zayn and Liam rush to class while Niall and I have a free period together.

"I have something important to discuss." I say in a urgent whisper as I drag Niall to the library.

"What is it Louis?" Niall asks with a hiss once we settle at a corner table where we won't have the librarian breathing down our necks.

"Zayn and Liam."

"What about them?"

"Zayn likes Liam."

"So? We all like Liam. He's a good friend."

I roll my eyes at that.  _'_ _Honestly_ _._ _Good_ _friend_ _._ _What_ _is_ _he_ _,_ _eight_ _?'_ "You don't get it. Zayn  _likes_ Liam."

"You don't say?" He raises his eyebrows.

"YES!! He looked the guy. I think Liam likes him too but he hides it pretty well!" I exclaim excitedly.

"How do you know?" He asks me suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at me.

"How do you not?" I ask incredulously as he shrugs. "Don't tell me you didn't notice!" I say loudly.

"Notice what, Lou? You're making me feel stupid right now." He pits pouts at me.

"The way Zayn was starting at Liam? Like 'the stare'. Liam was melting under his stare."

"No, what bullshit! I don't think so!" Niall exclaims loudly and the librarian shushes us.

"Yes! I saw them. That's all Zayn ever does. He talks to me but stares at Liam. It's honestly annoying at times. I mean I'm a very interesting, show some interest." I say feigning offense making Niall laugh.

"So you're trying to say...." Niall tries to figure it out.

"That we should get them together, yes you tube light." I roll my eyes.

"Someday your eyes are going to roll out of your skull." He mutters darkly earning a whack upside the head. "Ow, you dick!! But you do realise it won't be easy. They aren't open about their sexuality? Hell even we don't know their sexuality. They could be gay, bi, pan or even pizza-sexual and we wouldn't know."

"Liam is bi, Zayn is gay." I say with a careless shrug.

"Now you're just making shit up. How could you possibly know that?"

"Mannerisms, previous girlfriends."  _'_ _Oh_ _god_ _._ _Is_ _this_ _how_ _Sherlock_ _feels_ _when_ _everybody_ _doesn't_ _see_ _the_ _kind_ _of_ _stuff_ _he_ _can_ _._ _This_ _is_ _so_ _basic_ _._ _You_ _literally_ _gotta_ _be_ _blind_ _not_ _to_ _get_ _it'_

"Zayn has never had a girl-oh" Niall's eyes widen with realisation, "but that doesn't change the fact that they're in the closet."

"We'll have to get them to come out." I conclude.

"Do you realist they know how badly you are bullied at times so they won't come out?"

"They don't have to come out to the entire school, only to us."

"How will that happen, if you will?"

"Jealousy. Since I'm openly bi, I can pretend to like one of them to get the other jealous and admit it."

"That's genius and all but what if either of them fall for you? What if they push you away and say they're straight because they aren't open? You could be damaging your friendship."

"How about having someone else do it?"

"No one would do it willingly."

"Eleanor Calder would." I smirk

"Why?"

"For a date with me. Of course I clearly tell her that it's only one date and only if the plan is a success."

"As twisted as it is, it's pure genius. Count me in."

"Well let's text Miss Calder then?"

"How do you have her number?"

"She slipped it into my jacket yesterday." I laugh showing him the paper.

**Hey Eleanor, I wanted to talk about something really important. See you at lunch ;)**

Her response is quick **Of course Louis I'll be there :***

I cringe. "This is going to be hard." Niall laughs at my misery.

When lunch rolls around, Eleanor is at our table before us. I internally groan at her eagerness. "Let's get a different table." I tell her.

"Go for it man." Niall murmurs as he pats my back while Zayn and Liam look confused

"In glad you're finally coming around, Louis." Eleanor says excitedly.

"Eleanor, I have a deal for you."

"A deal? What are you going on about?"

"My friends Liam and Zayn like each other."

"Okay but what does that have to do with me?" She asks confusedly.

"Well they aren't open about their sexuality so I wasn't you to pretend that you like Zayn to make Liam jealous and if they admit their feelings for each other then I go on one date with you. JUST ONE." I explain making sure that she's clear about everything.

I can see her weighing out the pros and cons. She bites her lip in thought. "Won't it seem fishy that I like you and all of a sudden I like Zayn?"

"It will but you can just day you were putting up an act."

"Zayn doesn't like me."

"He isn't supposed to, that's my headache, leave it to me. Are you in or not?"

"I'm in, I suppose." She agrees hesitantly.

"Oh god. Thank heavens. Thank you so much Eleanor. I exclaim hugging her enthusiastically.

This is going to be great. Operation Ziam step one: getting a girl, check. Step two: introduce girl to the guy, begins.


	5. IV

**Louis' POV**

"Hey Zayn, guess what did I find out while talking to Eleanor?" I ask pretending to be smug.

"What?" Zayn asks taken aback.

"She likes you." I singsong.

"What bullshit!! She likes you!" Liam fires at me.

"Why are you getting worked up? Is someone jealous?" Niall smirks as I say this.

"J- j- jealous, me? Why would I be jealous? I don't like Eleanor or Zayn." He defends quickly.

" _Anyhow_ , she's interested." I turn back to Zayn as we drive home. "She wants me to set you up with her. What do you say?"

"Um, I- I don't know. I'm not sure." Zayn quickly chances a glance at Liam who looks pissed.

"Why, do you like someone else?" I look at Liam with a smirk.

"Uh- no- y- yes." Zayn stutters.

"What was that?" Niall raises his eyebrows

"Yes, I like someone." Zayn affirms softly.

"Who?" Liam asks with his eyes shut in anger or misery I don't know. Zayn doesn't reply. I stop the car at the side and turn around.

"You have to tell us," I tell him stubbornly, crossing my arms, "otherwise I'll keep trying to set you up."

"It's just someone, let it go." Zayn pleads chancing another quick look at Liam  _'_ _Ah_ _,_ _that_ _was_ _a_ _mistake_ _young_ _man_ _.'_

"Is it a guy? Because we wouldn't make fun of you." I press tentatively.

Zayn flushes a deep red. "Just set me up on the god damn date." He mutters furiously and gets out of the door, slamming the door as he gets out. I look at the two of them and get out to talk to Zayn. He is leaning against one of the cars parked nearby.

"Zayn-" I reach out to touch his arm.

"Just lemme be, Lou." He mutters stiffly and turns away.

"I know you like him." I mumble softly.

"What the hell?" He turns to me. "What are you going on about? I don't like Liam." He defends heatedly.

"But you just gave yourself away. I said him and you automatically assumed I meant Liam. Why are you lying to us, Zayn? You're my best buddy, why would you lie to me of all people. Hell I'm even bisexual. What are you hiding from?"

"Everything. The rejection, the disgusted looks, the - I've seen how bad it gets." He whispers fearfully.

"People get over it. You can handle it if I can."

"You get bullied so much for being just bisexual. I'll be buried alive. And he doesn't like me anyway." Zayn just looks down.

"You don't have to come out at school. It can just remain among the four of us. And I'm pretty sure he likes you." I hug the insecure boy.

"Thanks Lou, but what if Liam is straight? He was in a  _long_  relationship with Danielle Peazer after all."

"He could be bisexual. We'll talk to him later, yeah? Let's just get home first.

We both get into the car and Zayn awkwardly admits to being gay but wanting it to be a secret. I drop all off them at their respective houses and secretly high five Niall. Part two and three of Operation Ziam, check. Part four, Liam's sexuality.

I go home and greet my sisters. Going to my room I switch on the telly browsing through the channels which show nothing worth my time. My phone rings and I welcome the distraction, but all my eagerness disappears with one look at the caller ID - Eleanor. I reluctantly pick up and say hi.

"Hey Louis!! What's the situation with Zayn and Liam?" She asks a little too eagerly.

"The situation is under wraps, looks like we won't need the fake date after all." I smile at the thought.

"Oh! That's nice." She lies.

"Bye El, talk to you later."  _'hopefully never_ ' I say hanging up without waiting for a response. I decide to get my homework done.

Mum calls me downstairs for dinner after which I go to sleep.

The next day at school I'm sitting in chemistry with Harry who as usual is dutifully taking notes.

"Mr Styles." The teacher called out and Harry immediately stands up. "Explain topic 14b to the class." He commands.

Harry desperately looks at me for help and I smile at him, standing up. "He isn't comfortable with speaking, sir." I tell the teacher.

"I don't care, he has to speak." The man raises his voice. Harry is panicking.

"MR STYLES SPEAK NOW OR RISK FAILING." Mr Drew furiously bangs his desk.

"Sir, please don't pressurise him, he's freaking out." I plead.

"SIT DOWN TOMLINSON. NOT A WORD! STYLES SPEAK!"

Harry shakes his head, a tear rolling down his cheek.

The teacher rushes over to Harry. "I asked you to speak, don't make me take action." He warns and Harry cowers under his stare. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. Mr Drew steps back for a second pulling on his hair and Harry runs out of the class.

"COME BACK, MR STYLES!!" Mr Drew yells.

"I told you not to pressurise him. Now you've scared him away." I spit out venomously. "I'm going to get him!" I defiantly walk out of the class, looking for Harry.

I check the washroom and music room to no avail. I check all the empty classrooms - nada. It finally clicks and I rush to the library, finding him tucked away in a little corner.

I go close and sit down next to him. I reach out to touch him but then remembering his fear of touch, I just softly call out "Harry?"

He looks up at me with tear stained cheeks, sobs wracking his body. "Don't cry love!" I say softly. "Do you want me to hold you?" I ask carefully. He wildly shakes his head and tries to back away. "Okay, okay, calm down love, I won't touch you." I lock my hands behind my back to reassure him. "Look my hands are behind my back. Please don't cry."


	6. V

**Louis' POV**

He cries on and on as I try to comfort him. "Harry, love, please talk to me. I promise I won't hurt you."

He fearfully shakes his head.

"Will you at least write? Please, Harry, help me out here." Harry thinks for a bit before slowly nodding. I smile widely and pull out my notebook and a pen from my bag, placing it in front of Harry.

 **Why are you here?**  He looks at me curiously and uncertainly.

"I care about you, Harry. Why did you rush out of the class?" I ask softly, looking at him with concern.

 **He is a scary person. He was being mean.**  He shivers slightly.

"Yes he was. I'm proud of you for standing up to him. It was very brave of you." He smiles widely, making me smile too. "Why don't you talk? You've got a beautiful voice."

He blushes and writes  **Thank you but I can't talk. I'm not allowed to. She'll get me if I do.**

"Who is she?" I ask quickly.

 **I can't tell you Louis. She'll get me, she'll kill me.**  Tears well up in his eyes again.

"Harry why won't you let anyone touch you? Is there anyone who can actually touch you?"

**I'm scared. Mum and my sister Gemma can touch me.**

"Is anyone hurting you?" I consider it. It's very possible.

 **I have to go Louis. I've already said too much. But before I go, where did you get my number?**  He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"The day you left your phone, I sent a missed call to my number." I feel my cheeks redden with embarrassment.

Harry grins.  **Gotcha. Hahahahahaha. I have to go Louis. I'll text you okay? Bye.**  He places the paper and pen on the desk and walks away before he comes back quickly and writes  **Thank you Louis. You're a great person.**  I smile like an idiot as he leaves.

That night Harry texts me.  **Why are you so persistent? Why do you wanna talk to me?**

**You intrigue me Harry. You're a very intriguing person.**

**Stop making me blush. But why? I'm mean to you, I don't talk to you, I don't let you touch me in any way. I've seen you. You like to hug.**

**Yes Harry. I'd love it if we'd talk and if you'd let me hug you but you can't and I respect your boundaries.**

**Maybe one day I will talk to you. I'd love to talk to you :)**

**And Harry? If there's ever something you want to or need to talk about, I'm always here for you, no matter how awkward or unorthodox, I won't ever judge you.**

**Thanks Lou. That means a lot. Good night. See you at school tomorrow**

**Anytime. Sleep tight Hazza. See ya. I keep my phone aside and get into bed.**

It's been weeks since that conversation. He still doesn't talk to me, but tonight he's invited me over for the night, maybe I'll finally break through his shell.

Come night and I'm at Harry's with my overnight bag. I knock on the door and his mother opens it. "Hi Anne!" I smile.

"Hello, love. Harry is so eager, he hasn't shut up all day. Come on in." I smile wider at the thought of him talking as I walk in.

"Hi Harry!" I say cheerfully standing behind the couch he's sitting on and he turns around and waves. He pats the spot next to him and I smile sitting down.

"Anne told me you haven't shut up about my night stay all day?" I quirk an eyebrow.

He turns red and grins at me, nodding.

"So what do you wanna do?"

Harry opens Netflix and excitedly points at the screen.

"Okay, Harry calm down, we'll watch movies. How much sugar did you have?" I laugh.

He smirks and shrugs. I laugh again. Anne enters the room with a big bowl of popcorn and sets it in front of us. "Have fun boys." She pats our heads and we smile.

Harry holds out the remote to me as if to say "you pick." He's becoming more and more comfortable giving and taking things from my hand as long as contact isn't required. "Are you sure?" I ask taking the remote from him as he nods.

I go through the categories and stop at horror giving Harry a questioning look. He nods his approval and I play The Killer. I've surprisingly never seen it.

Munching on popcorn I calmly watch the movie, horror movies don't faze me. I look over at Harry and he has an anticipating look on his face. There is a clap of thunder from the movie and Harry winces. I assume he has a fear of thunderstorms. Funny throughout the worst of the movie he barely reacts but one clap of thunder makes him jump. That's another question added to the every growing list of questions to ask Harry Styles. By the end of the movie we're both slightly shaken with an empty bowl in front of us.

"That was..." I trail off shaking my head and Harry just hands me his phone, a line typed on the screen  **I want to show you something, come with me?**

I smile, "of course, Harry. Lead the way." He gives me a bright smile and gets up walking up a staircase to the left and enters one of the many rooms. Did I mention Harry was uber rich? The room has a tiny recording area, a variety of guitars, a set of drums and a grand piano. It's perfect.

He picks up one of the guitars caressing it gently. He sits down and starts strumming an unfamiliar beautiful tune. "I've never heard this. It's beautiful. What is it?"

 **It's mine an original :)**  I smile on reading that.  **Do you want to eat and get to bed?**

"Yeah that'd be great." We both go downstairs where Anne has amazing spaghetti. I can't help but endlessly praise it.

After we finish with our dinner, Harry takes me to his room to finally sleep. I'm exhausted. He opens the door and I enter his room for the first time. He looks at me, nervously biting his lip, waiting for my opinion.

It's pretty simple. He's got this huge bulletin board behind the bed which has loads of pictures pinned on. The corner has a desk with his things organised properly. A photo frame on one of the shelves above the table. Then one sliding glass door that opens to a balcony. Another door which probably leads to the bathroom. The room is a pale blue and one wall has this texture thing in royal blue.

"It's wonderful." I grin. He has a double bed with plain blue bedspreads. I immediately fall down on the bed making the mattresses bounce. Harry smiles and bounces down next to me.

"I wish you'd talk to me, Haz." I sigh and he let's out an amused chuckle which has to be the first sound I've ever heard from him, excluding the song. "What?" I huff.

**Ha** **z, really?** I smile and then pout.

"It's cute."

 **Whatever helps you sleep at night, Lou.**  Harry smirks.

"That reminds me, can we sleep? I'm really tired." Without waiting for a response I pull open the blanket at the foot of the bed and cover myself up. Harry laughs making me grin. He crawls under the blanket and throws a pillow at my face. I push it off myself.

 **Good night, Lou. Today was so fun xx**  I smile feeling myself warm up from the inside.

"Good night, Haz. I really enjoyed this. We should do this more often."


	7. VI

**Louis' POV**

"Louis please wake up." I hear a soft tearful voice whisper.  _'What the fuck is going on?'_

"Louis wake up!!' I hear the voice beg.

"Kay, mmhghf I'm up, who are you?" I mumble groggily, rubbing my eyes.

"It's Harry."  _That_  definitely wakes me up.

"Harry??" I call out loudly.

"Shh, please be soft. Yes it's me." He pleads wiping his eyes.

"Wait, are you  _crying?_ Why the hell is it so dark? What time is it? WHY ARE WE WHISPERING?" I whisper yell, my voice becoming higher and louder with each question. "And why and how are you talking?" I finally register a  _major_ thunderstorm raging outside.

"I hate thunderstorms." Harry mumbles. "And it's really late, like 1:30 am, we don't want to wake up anyone and I'm talking because I'm scared and I need you to distract me." I'm just looking at him with wide eyes.  _'He's actually talking.'_  "Say something, Louis." I finally gain back my speech and smirk.

"Something."

"What?"

"You asked me to say something, so I did."

"Louiiiiiiiiiis! Please I'm scared." Harry pleads.

"Sorry I'm sorry. I'm not in the best of moods when I'm woken up." I raise my hands in surrender.

"I'm so sorry. Go back to sleep." He looks down.

"Hey! Don't be silly, you trusted me enough to talk, I'm not going to sleep. Do you want to talk to take your mind off the storm?" I ask scooting slightly closer.

"Yeah, anything to distract me from this thunderstorm." He burrows himself into his blanket.

"You sure let all your walls down at once." I laugh.

"I know, sorry. I'm a very talkative once you get me to talk."

"Stop apologising love. You're good, calm down."

"Sorry." I give him a look. "Oops."

I laugh. "So tell me, what is it with you and being touched and talking?"

He looks down. "Harry I can't tell you. She'll -"

"Harry is it your mom?" I cut across.

"No!!! Anne is a wonderful woman!"

"Anne?" I raise my eyebrow.  _'_ _Who_ _calls_ _their_ _mum_ _by_ _their_ _name_ _.'_

"Uh, I mean-"

"It's fine, Harry. You don't need to justify yourself to me." I smile reassuringly and then it clicks."Are you into dealing and shit?"

"WHAT? NO!! OH HELL!! GOD NO!! NO NO!!"

"Thought so." I laugh. "What is it then, I won't judge."

"I just can't Louis."

"Okay, at least tell me where does your fear of thunderstorms stem from?"

"I'd have to tell you everything. You'd run away faster than light, Louis. I don't want you to run away."

"I promise I won't."

"Please drop it Louis." He pleads tears welling up in his eyes.

"Okay. I'm so sorry. How about we ask each other random questions or something?"

"Sure, sounds okay. You go first?"

"When is your birthday?"

"1st Feb. Yours?"

"24th December."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Red. Yours?"

"Blue, makes me think of freedom."

"Who was your first kiss and when?"

"I've never been kissed."

"Shit just got awkward." I laugh.

"What about you?"

"My first kiss was one of my best mates, Stan, back in grade 7." He nods awkwardly.

"Have you ever been bullied?"

"Yes a lot for my sexuality. You?"

"Not really. I was homeschooled up till high school."

"Are you gay."  _'_ _Shit_ _,_ _why_ _did_ _I_ _ask_ _that_ _,_ _again_ _?"_

"Y-yeah." He answers in a small voice. "Have you ever self harmed?"

"No. You?" He simply pulls up his sleeves and I gasp. Not only are there scars but fresh cuts too. I look at his arm in shock as a tear falls on it. "Can I?" I reach out to touch his arm but he violently shakes his head.

"I won't hurt you, I promise, please, just let me in." I look at him imploringly. He looks at me fearfully before nodding. I smile and gently reach for his arm, holding it gently so that the cuts face me. My other hand traces the numerous scars. My own eyes begin to well up. "Why do you do this Harry?" He looks away. I gently turn his head to make him face me and he flinches under my touch. "Harry, talk to me love."

He pulls away. "Let's just go to sleep." He says roughly and turns on his side. "Night."

"Good night Harry." I mumble and lie down peacefully, more intrigued now than ever.

I wake up and turn to the other side finding Harry sleeping peacefully, looking so innocent and untroubled. I pick up my phone and check the time. 6:00am.  _'_ _What_ _the_ _hell_ _?_ _Why_ _am_ _I_ _awake_ _at_ _ungodly_ _o_ _clock_ _?'_ I try falling asleep again but it's one impossible task. I look out of the window and see the thunderstorm is still on. I go to the washroom and brush my teeth and wash my face. I go back to find Harry moving around in his sleep. He seems to be kicking around.  _'_ _Is_ _he_ _having_ _a_ _nightmare_ _?'_ I go sit by him and try shaking him awake.

"Harry, wake up! Come on, wake up." He mumbles something and I lean in close to hear what he's saying.

"Please don't hurt me. I'll do as you say. I'm sorry." He winces and only nods or shakes his head after that.

"Wake up Harry!" I raise my voice a bit.

"NO PLEASE!!" He let's out an anguished scream. I shake him hard, he's crying by now, tears are streaming down my face too. He wakes up and shoots up in bed. He immediately scoots away and pulls his knees to his chest rocking back and forth. "D-don't touch m-me. P-please."

"Harry, it's just me. Calm down love I'm not hurting you." I say soothingly.

He looks at me fearfully. "L-L-Louis?"

"Yes love. It's just me." He breaks into a flood of tears mumbling incoherently. "Oh baby. Come here, Hazzy." I hold my arms open.

He crawls over to me and lays his head in my lap. I run my hands through his hair, gently massaging his scalp. "Do you wanna talk?"

"No just keep doing that. Feels good." He mumbles and I continue running my fingers through his hair. I hear him humming after a while. I recognise it.

"You like The Script?"

"I love The Script." His eyes light up making me smile.

"Have you seen them live?

"No, I can't handle crowds alone and mum and Gemma don't like them."

"They're coming here next week. I've got tickets. Do you wanna go?"

"Really? You'd take me?" He sits up to face me.

"100%." And his smile at my words could light up the world.

"Thank you Lou!" I wink at him and tell him that I've to go home and I'll see him at school tomorrow. His smile drops. "Do you have to go?"

"Yes love. Mum must be worrying." I kiss his hair and wave bye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know if I'm doing any good... thank you


	8. VII

**Louis' POV**

Monday rolls around at lightning speed and before I know it I'm getting ready for school. As I'm getting ready I decide I'm driving Harry to school so I text him.

**Get ready, curly. I'm driving you to school, no ifs and no buts. I'll be there in 10.**

I go downstairs for breakfast. "Lou, could you drop Lottie on your way to school?" Mum asks me and I sigh.

"Sorry, mum. I've got to pick up a friend, I promised him." I don't like saying no to mum but I don't have a choice.

"Oh, guess she'll have to take the bus." I nod guiltily and pecking her cheek I rush out to my car, driving to Harry's. He's waiting outside.

"Come on in!" I reach over to open the door from inside and he gets in.

"Good morning, Lou!" He says his smile mirroring mine.

We drive to school making idle chatter. Once we reach school, I park the car and tell him I'd meet him in Music.

"Hey lads!" I walk over to Niall and Zayn. "Where's Liam?"

"Dunno. Haven't seen him since Friday at school." Niall shrugs. "Zayn you know anything mate?" Zayn shakes his head.

"Did you try calling him?"

"Straight to voicemail." Zayn replies promptly.

"I'm going to go over after school, you guys in?" I ask worriedly and they nod. The bell rings and we sweet off to our separate classes, me to Drama. To say Drama class was full of drama would be an understatement. We were planning a few historical reenactments of wars and such and had tensions running high, tears shed over lost roles, wardrobe malfunctions and the list was endless. We have Drama twice a week for 3 periods. It was safe to say that I was physically and emotionally drained at the end of class and more than ecstatic that we had Music next.

I go and take my seat as the class slowly starts to file in. Harry comes and sits next to be, Niall and a friend, Josh sit behind us and Zayn in front alone because Liam is missing.

I flop my head on the deal annoyed with the chatter.

"Everything okay, Lou?" Harry asks in a soft murmur.

"No!! Drama drained the soul out of me." I mumble, my voice muffled by the desk.

"It's okay. Come on. Just enjoy Music, okay?" He rubs my back comfortingly and I feel a smile overtake me. I slowly sit back up.

"Okay everyone. I'm going to assign you a group project. You can make groups of 2 up to 7. You need to come up with an original music track, it can be an instrumental if you please. You may divide into groups and discuss. It counts for 90℅ of your grade so I suggest you take it seriously" Ms Eliot announces.

"How about the six of us do it together?" I say.

"Who six?" Niall asks leaning forward.

"You, Josh, Zayn, Liam, Harry and I." I give Harry the best puppy dog look I can muster.

"I can't sing or talk in front of others." Harry mumbles quietly into my ear.

"You won't need to talk, come on Harry, we need you."

"How will he sing, he doesn't even talk to us." Josh looks puzzled.

"He talks to me. I'll make sure to up his confidence levels enough to sing."

Harry looks dubious but shrugs.

"So what I was thinking, we have Niall and Harry on the guitar, me and Liam on the piano, Josh on the drums and Zayn on vocals. Well all of you on vocals. I don't know about Josh though."

"Sorry mate, I can't sing or write." Josh shrugs.

"We can't compose." Zayn points out.

I look at Harry, mouthing a sorry. "Harry can." He gives me a murderous look.

"After school practice?" Josh prompts.

"Not today. We need to check up on Liam. Tomorrow?" We all agree to that.

Then we all get back to our own conversations and Harry rounds on me. "When did I ever agree to all of this? I can't believe you Louis."

"Harry I don't want you to use your music. I know it's personal. But we have to do something right. Please help me out here."

"You're right, I'm being unreasonable. We'll do this together. Come over today for composing?"

"I'd love to but only once we find Liam. So what I will do is, drop you off at yours, then the four of us can go over to Liam's."

"I can take the bus." He offers.

"We'll see, okay?"

"Okay."


	9. VIII

**Louis' POV**

When it's finally lunch I think I could jump for joy. We sit at our table and I look around for Harry finding him nowhere. I brush it off thinking maybe he was busy or something.

After lunch I head to chemistry. Harry's not there and Mr Drew the Dick is absent as well. I try not to worry about Harry but I'm already too worked up. I asked the substitute to excuse me on the pretext of using the loo. I walk out of the class and head in the general direction of the loos considering washing my face. I hear loud, raucous laughter as I near the loos.

I hear a voice. "Shut up, Styles or I'll make this harder." The voice laughs.

"This is hilarious. So going viral." Another voice laughs.

I feel my blood boil.

"Better put the fag elsewhere, man." A third voice.

"No he's better off here. I don't think anyone will find him."

I open the door and see them kicking Harry's sides.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!!" I thunder.

They turn. "Look Styles. Your boyfriend is here to save the day." One of them mocks.

"I said get away." I say calmly.

"Or what?" The guy videoing challenges.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know." I say deathly calm. They must sense how angry I am because the next thing I know they're storming out. I'm shaking with fury as I watch them leave. Once they're gone I quickly turn to Harry and drop to my knees.

"Harry!!!" I touch his hands which are covering his face and he starts whimpering. "Harry, calm down, love. It's just me. It's Louis, just me baby." He slowly brings down his hands to reveal his bruised and bloody face.

"Louis...." He crawls closer to me with a pained wince. I gently pull him into my arms.

"What happened, love." I murmur softly, stroking his hair as he cries into my shirt.

"I bumped into one of them and walked away with an apologetic look and then they grabbed me and started taunting me, I tried to walk away but then they asked me to answer them and when I didn't, they thought I was being defiant and beat me up."

"Oh love. Please don't cry baby. Please just calm down. It's okay, don't with. I got you now. Shhh, I got you." I softly kiss his hair.

"Can you please drop me home? Everything hurts." He pleads.

"Of course, Hazza. Just let me get you cleaned up, yeah?" His eyes widen in fear.

"Only my face...." I choose not to question him.

"Only your face and arms." I offer.

"Okay." I help him up and he heavily leans on me. I wet a few paper towels and gently dab at his face, giving special attention to his busted lip and cut cheek, then moving to slowly cleaning the cuts on his arms making him wince. "Why did they hurt me?" He asks brokenly.

"I'm sorry Haz. I don't know. Please don't cry, love. I got you. Can you walk?"

"I think so."

"Just till my car. Come on. Wait, you know what? My house is closer and my mum is a nurse. I'm taking you to mine."

"NO!!" he starts struggling weakly.

"Harry, stop struggling, you're going to hurt yourself even more. She won't touch you, don't worry, everything will be the way you like, okay? Just a little cooperation."

"Alright." I smile and we slowly walk to my car. It's more of me dragging Harry carefully but, oh well. It's horrible seeing Harry like this, all broken and wincing.  _'_ _He's_   _a_ _delicate_ _thing_ _._ _Like_ _a_ _rose_ _._ _He's_ _gorgeous_ _but_ _he_ _has_ _his_ _thorns_ _._ _Fresh_ _as_ _dew_ _._ _I_ _just_ _want_ _to_ _bundle_ _him_ _up_ _in_ _warmth_ _and_ _keep_ _him_ _happy_ _,_ _always_ _.'_ I help in and buckle him up. I drive home as I notice Harry crying silently. I pull over and look at him. "Harry-"

"Louis please just drive, everything hurts." He pleads and I nod quickly driving home. I unbuckle him and ask him to step out. He tries and winces. "I can't do it, the soreness is setting in."

"Okay. I'm going to carry you. This might hurt. It probably will." I tell him as I put one arm under his knees and the other on his back lifting him up carefully. He winces. "Shit, sorry Harry." He nods. I get him in and take him to the guestroom, laying him on the bed. "I'll just be back." I murmur, running my hand through his hair. I run out and call mum from her room, explaining the situation in brief. She nods and rushes to the guestroom, sitting by Harry.

"Hi Harry, I'm Johannah, Louis' mum, and I'm sorry we had to meet this way. I'm going to need you to take off your shirt."

Harry looks at me with panic. I kneel down in front of him. "Please Harry, Mum needs to check you, please?"

Harry shakes his head vigorously.

"She won't touch you in any way, I promise, please Harry, you could have broken ribs." A few tears leak out of his eyes. I look at mum, silently telling her to give us a minute and she nods and walks off. "Talk to me, Harry." I take his hand.

"You'll hate me if I take off my shirt, you'll be disgusted." More tears. I wipe them off gently running my hand through his soft curls.

"I could never  _eve_ _r_  hate you Harry. You're one of my best mates. You know I wouldn't hate you. Please? Just trust me on this one? Have I ever hurt you? Please. I can't risk you having broken bones. Come on?"

"Promise me you won't hate me?"

I take his other hand as well and kiss both of them. "I promise, baby. I will not hate you, okay?"

"And your mum will not touch me? No matter what?"

"Okay. Done. Deal. She won't. No matter what. Okay?"

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is two chapters in a row that I've ended with okay? okay. *cringes* it was unintentional i swear. forgive me please.


	10. IX

**Louis' POV**

I help Harry take off his shirt and gasp.  _'_ _What_ _the_ _fuck_ _?_ _His_ _entire_ _torso_ _is_ _covered_ _with_ _scars_ _and_ _bruises_ _.'_  I look at him and see tears streaming down his cheeks. "How?" I ask and he shakes his head. Mum comes in and I can tell that she too is shocked. She sits by him and quietly observes the bruises.

"What hurts the most?" He points at a particularly large bruise on his left side. "I figured. It needs to be bandaged, in fact, the whole of your torso needs to be bandaged." She says and takes out the bandage.

Harry looks at me with anger and fear.

"I'll do it Mum, I promised you wouldn't touch him." Mum purses her lips in disapproval but nods curtly.

I help Harry sit up and bandage him the way mum tells me.

"Rest, love. Louis call his mum and tell her he is staying over tonight." I nod and mum walks out.

"Your mum is a lifesaver." Harry mumbles gratefully. I smile and tell him to rest. "Stay?" He asks softly as I turn to leave.

"Of course Harry." I sit by him and talk to him telling him of all our crazy antics till he falls asleep. That's when it hits me.  _'_ _Liam_ _!!'_ I pull out my phone I text Niall and Zayn.

**Harry's been hurt. I took him home. I'll pick y'all @ 3:30 then we'll go look for that buffoon.**

They text back their okay a few minutes later.

At 3:20 I pick up my car keys and place a few painkillers by Harry's bedside along with a note  ** _I'm_ _going_ _to_ _look_ _for_ _Liam_ _._ _Take_ _the_ _painkillers_ _._ _I'll_ _be_ _back_ _soon_ _._ _Call_ _me_ _if_ _you_ _need_ _to_ _-_ _Louis_ _xx_**

"Mum I'm going out. Take care of Harry for a while.

"Wait a minute!" Mum stops me.

" _What_ mum?"

"I'm taking care of someone I've never met, what's the deal." She places her hands on her hips.

"Mum, please, I have to go. He's a friend, just don't touch him or try to get him to speak. Love you, bye." I run out before she stops me and quickly drive to school texting them to let them know I'm here. The bell rings and a few minutes later they rush out and get in the car.

I start driving as Niall asks "What happened to Harry?" I explain briefly as I pull over in his driveway.

The house is locked. We give each other the  _'_ _what_ _the_ _fuck_ _'_  look as we lean against my car.

"Did he move?" I voice my biggest concern.

"He better not have!" Niall says angrily.

"His number is unavailable." Zayn says.

"Exactly. What is happening?" I murmur.

"Maybe they went on another one of the camping trips but Liam forgot to tell us, thinking he already did?"

"Sounds far fetched, he doesn't forget shit but I'm hoping you're right." Zayn sighs.

"Let's head back. We aren't doing any good standing here like idiots." I say and we get back in the car.

"Mum I'm home." I call out, dropping the car keys in the bowl and heading straight for the guestroom only to find Harry missing. "Where's Harry?" I ask mum.

"I think he went upstairs." I nod and head to my room where Harry is lying on the bed.

"How're you feeling Hazza?" I ask, lying down next to him.

"Okay I guess." He tells me.

"Well, what do you think of my room?"

"It's happy. I mean no offense but the guestroom was kinda dead and depressing."

"I know, I hate it."

"Did you find Liam?"

"No, he's just disappeared off the face of the earth."

"Don't worry, Lou. He'll be back soon." He comforts me, turning on his side and pulling me into a hug.

"What if he's moved? He's my best mate." I mumble, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"Don't talk like that, Louis. He'll be back. He'd tell you if he was moving." I nod into his chest and he plays with my hair making me laugh. "What is it?"

"Usually I'm the one who holds you and comforts you and plays with your hair, so this is kinda ironic." This makes him laugh.

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"Harry?"

"Mmhmm?"

"What is it with the scars on your chest and back?" This makes him pull away with a frown.

"It's my childhood. I'd rather not speak of it."

I nod. "Tell me when you're okay with it. I'd never judge you."

"I know. Just give me some time, yeah?"

"All the time you need, love. We do have a lot of free time, what do you wanna do?"

"Do you, by any chance, have a guitar here?" He asks.

"Actually, I do, why?"

"We could work on our music we need to compose."

"You think you can walk? My piano is there in the same room."

"No Louis I can't walk. I flew up the stairs, you know." He rolls his eyes.

"Don't sass me, Styles." I warn him playfully as we get off the bed and walk to the music room.

"Do you wanna try singing together?" I ask him.

"I- I've never sung in front of anyone." He hesitates.

"Let's change that, yeah?" I smile at him and he nods nervously.

He slowly starts strumming his guitar.

 **_I figured it out_ **  
**_I figured it out from black and white_ **  
**_Seconds and hours_ **  
**_Maybe they had to take some time_ **

**_I know how it goes_ **  
**_I know how it goes for wrong and right_ **  
**_Silence and sound_ **  
**_Did they ever hold each other_ **  
**_Tight like us_ **  
**_Did they ever fight like us_ **

**_You & I_ **  
**_We don't want to be like them_ **  
**_We can make it till the end_ **  
**_Nothing can come between_ **  
**_You & I_ **  
**_Not even the gods above_ **  
**_Could separate the two of us_ **  
**_No nothing can come between_ **  
**_You & I_ **  
**_Oohh You & I_ **

**_I figured it out_ **  
**_Saw the mistakes of up and down_ **  
**_Meet in the middle_ **  
**_There's always room for common ground_ **

**_I see what it's like_ **  
**_I see what it's like for day and night_ **  
**_Never together_ **  
**_Cause they see things in a different light_ **  
**_Like us_ **  
**_They never tried like us_ **

**_You & I_ **  
**_We don't want to be like them_ **  
**_We can make it till the end_ **  
**_Nothing can come between_ **  
**_You & I_ **  
**_Not even the gods above_ **  
**_Could separate the two of us_ **

**_'Cause You & I_ **

**_We don't want to be like them_ **  
**_We can make it till the end_ **  
**_Nothing can come between You & I_ **  
**_Not even the gods above_ **  
**_Could separate the two of us_ **  
**_No nothing can come between_ **  
**_You & I_ **

**_You & I_ **  
**_Oohh You & I _ **  
**_Oohh_ _you_ _and_ _I_ **

**_We can make it if we try_ **  
**_You & I_ **

**_Oohh you & I_ **  
**_You & _ _I_ **

He finishes the song and looks at me. "Well?" I gape at him "Say something, Louis."

"Fucking hell."

"That bad?" He looks down.

" _No_ that _good_ _."_ I say firmly. "That was amazing. Shit, Harry. You're going to own the song."

His face splits into a 1000 watt smile and he giggles. Fucking giggles. "Your turn."

"I don't sing. You four are going to sing and Josh and I will play."

"I don't care. I wanna hear you sing."

"Okay. J- just don't murder me after I tear apart your eardrums.

"I won't." He laughs. I nervously clear my throat and begin to sing with closed eyes.

 **_You tell me that you're sad and lost your way_ **  
**_You tell me that your tears are here to stay_ **  
**_But I know you were only hiding_ **  
**_And I just wanna see ya_ **

**_You tell me that you're hurt and you're in pain_ **  
**_And I can see your head is held in shame_ **  
**_But I just wanna see you smile again_ **  
**_See you smile again_ **

**_But don't burn out_ **  
**_Even if you scream and shout_ **  
**_It'll come back to you_ **  
**_And I'll be here for you_ **

**_Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_ **  
**_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough_ **  
**_When the night is coming down on you_ **  
**_We will find a way through the dark_ **

**_I wish that I could take you to the start_ **  
**_I'd never let you fall and break your heart_ **  
**_And if you wanna cry or fall apart,_ **  
**_I'd be there to hold ya_ **

**_You tell me that you heart it's all in vain_ **  
**_But I can see your heart can love again_ **  
**_And I remember you were laughing_ **  
**_So let's just laugh again_ **

**_But don't burn out even_ **  
**_If you scream and shout_ **  
**_It'll come back to you,_ **  
**_Back to you_ **

**_Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_ **  
**_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough_ **  
**_When the night is coming down on you_ **  
**_We will find a way through the dark_ **

**_And you don't need, you don't need to run_ **  
**_And you will see it's easy to be loved_ **  
**_I know you wanna be loved_ **

**_Oh, I will carry you over fire and water for your love..._ **

**_Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_ **  
**_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough_ **  
**_When the night is coming down on you_ **  
**_We will find a way through the dark_ **  
**_Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_ **  
**_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough_ **  
**_When the night is coming down_ **  
**_We will find a way through the_ _dark_ **

I finally finish and keep my eyes closed waiting for a response.

"Louis open your eyes." Harry breathes and I open them to find Harry kneeling on the floor.  _"_ _That_ _"_ he tilts my chin to face him "was the most gorgeous sound a human can produce."

I look in his eyes and almost believe him. Almost. But then I burst into laughter. I'm crying tears of laughter till I feel a hand on my knee.

"I mean it Louis and you will be singing. I have you videod and I don't hesitate to put it on YouTube. You are singing Louis Tomlinson." He says threateningly and I nod fearfully.  _'_ _That'd_ _be_ _a_ _nightmare.'_ He smirks in satisfaction.

"I hate you Harry."

"Love you too LouLou." He singsongs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW the band doesn't exist in this au. AND NO I didn't run out of ideas. I wanted to put in this so I did. Don't give me shit about it. Thank you.


	11. X

**Louis' POV**

It's been a week and there's still no sign if Liam. His phone is unavailable and we're worried sick. On the other hand Harry has healed almost completely and we've finished composing the tune. We haven't started songwriting because we're waiting for Liam.

"Hey guys!" I hug Niall and Zayn. "Any sign of Liam?" They shake their heads and I go to class with a disappointed sigh.

At lunch we get together with Harry and Josh, deciding that we need to get started on the lyrics.

"Does 4 pm work?" I ask and Zayn's, Niall's and my phone ping at the same time. I give them a look and pull my phone out as they do the same.

**From: Liam**   
**Come to the school parking lot.**

We look up with grins and the three of us race outside. We see Liam leaning against my car.

We run to him, Zayn getting there first and - SMACK. He's slapped Liam across the face. Before Liam can react Zayn pulls him into a bone crushing hug. Liam gives us a look and wraps his arms tightly around him.

"Asshole." Zayn mumbles in his neck. "You can't just disappear on me. I was worried sick."

"I'm sorry, Zayn. Dad decided it'd be fun to force me into a car in a sleepy haze. By the time I woke up we were already out of coverage area." Liam tightens his arms around Zayn's shoulders.

Zayn slowly pulls away and Niall hugs Liam. Liam finally hugs me. "Hi Louis." He says and I laugh with relief.

"Fuck you, Liam. You deserved that slap."

"I missed you guys." Liam looks at Zayn who mumbles "Tell me about it."

"Can you two just kiss already?" Niall laughs.

"I'd love to." Liam smirks.

I smirk at Niall. Well, that was easy. "Well finally you come out to us, about time." I laugh

Liam pouts and Zayn laughs. "Find it funny, Malik?" Liam backs Zayn against my car making his eyes widen. Liam smirks and leans in, whispering in Zayn's ear making him turn red.

"Please don't fuck over my car." I grumble and they separate and we all head off to class and tell Liam about our planned songwriting session on the way.

x-x

I drive home with Harry. "I'll pick you up in half an hour, okay?"

"Sure, see you then." He gets out and I drive off.

I take a quick shower before going out. I pull over in Harry's driveway. He's crouched outside. I panic and rush out to him.

"Harry are you okay?" I ask frantically making him jump.

"Bloody hell, Louis! Don't creep on me like that!" He gasps out holding his hands over his heart. He crouches back down. "Look at this little kitty, isn't she cute?" He asks holding a tiny white kitten in his arms. I smile.

"Yes, she's adorable. I run my finger over get fur making get purr at me. "Come on now, let her go. We gotta go and get some writing done."

He pouts. "Can I please take her as well?" He gives me the puppy dog eyes making me groan.

"I hate the puppy dog eyes. Bring her in." He cheers and hugs me, making me smile widely.

He plays with the kitten all the way, fawning over her cuteness.

"Stupid kitty." I huff making Harry grin mischievously.

"You're peanut butter and jealous." He laughs.

"What?? No, pfft. That's absurd. Jealous of a kitten?" I say defensively.

"Peanut butter and jealous." He whispers in my ear making me scowl at him.

"Maybe if you actually paid attention to me I wouldn't have to be jealous." I pout.

"Aww, Lou, you're so cute." Harry laughs petting the kitten.

"Let's play 20 questions." I say trying to get his attention.

"Okay. Me first. Cats or dogs?"

"Dogs." I angrily eye the kitten. "Summer or winter?"

"Winter. Snow and cuddles." He grins. "Ideal first date?"

"A drive. Ideal first kiss?"

"At a beach, sunset."

"That's so cliche."

"And a drive as a first date isn't?" He challenges, cocking an eyebrow as the kitten nuzzles into his hand. "Anyway, Nicki Minaj or Eminem?"

"Eminem. Nicki Minaj is so overrated. Football or basketball?" I take a left.

"Basketball."

"Really? But that's so..." I give him a bored look.

"Coldplay or Maroon 5?"

"Coldplay is life. We're here." I pull into the parking lot.

He pouts. "Our game?"

"We'll continue on our way back."

He holds up the kitten carefully and we proceed to the music from where they're all already waiting for us, chatting away, Josh by the drums, Liam by one of the grand pianos with Zayn leaning over it and chatting him up and Niall tuning his guitar.

"Hello lads." I say as I take my place at the other piano and Harry gets his guitar out from the cupboard and sits next to me.

"Hey. Have you and Harry started with the music composition?"

Harry and I exchange a smirk. "It's done." I announce.

"What're you waiting for, let's hear it." Liam exclaims. Harry pulls out his guitar and sits by Mr as we begin to play. It's upbeat and perfect for all three instruments to be there and not sound bad.

"It's amazing!!" Zayn raises his eyebrows.

"Josh, can you add drums?" I turn to him.

"I don't see why not. Just need to hear it once more if that's okay?"

"Sure, Liam, Niall, play with us." I pass them the sheet music and they study it carefully, trying it out.

"Let's do this." Niall says placing the sheet music in front of him and we start.

By the end Zayn is close to squealing and Josh is speechless.

"We need mind blowing lyrics to do justice to this. This is too good to be ruined. We aren't going to take a chance." Zayn regains his composure while Josh drums away experimentally.

He stops after a while and speaks up "I'm ready, let's do this." We start, this time accompanied with nicely accentuated drumbeats.

Zayn claps excitedly. "Let's write fast!!! I wanna join in as soon as possible."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehehehehe ziam moment in there. i fucking love ziam sue me


	12. XI

**Zayn's POV**

I'm really impressed with the tune Harry and Louis have come up with. And while we're on the topic of Harry and Louis, I believe Louis likes Harry. You can see way his face lights up around him. He came in today with the brightest smile on his face while Harry gave him a look of serious fond. Not to be rude or anything but Harry is really expressionless around us but put him next to Louis and the stars shine out of his eyes.

"Whatcha thinking about Malik?" Liam asks wrapping his arm around my shoulders making me snap out of it.

"Louis and Harry."

"Aww shucks. I thought it'd be me you thought of with a smile on your face. I must admit, I'm jealous." I blush. I'm surprised. Liam isn't the best flirt but he just has that kind of effect on me.

"Shut up, Payno. You better stop with your flirty antics right there." I pull his arm off me.

"Oh come on, Malik. You know you like this." He lowers his voice to an almost illegally husky tone, his lips ghosting near my ear. He moves away suddenly. "Do you wanna come over tonight?"

"Uh-um, y-yeah okay." I try to regain composure

"Oi lovebirds! We're trying to get some work done here. So if you'd bother concentrating, it'd be very much appreciated." Niall snaps and I notice that Liam and I weren't the only ones lost in our private bubble.

Louis and Harry were lost to the world, laughing and talking. Although I only met Harry recently, I like him and seeing him talk makes me really happy, even if he only talks to Louis.

"Well sorry for working on the lyrics." Louis sasses as Harry muffles a laugh.

"Oh I see what you're working on." Niall rolls his eyes. Louis glares at him. He gets up and slams a notebook in front of him. Niall huffs and picks it up, reading through. "Oops?"

Louis shakes his head and takes the notebook walking back to Harry who's laughing quietly. "Find it funny, Styles?" Louis challenges and starts tickling Harry.

"Zayn are you even listening?" Liam asks and I guiltily shake my head with a small laugh. He pouts at me making me laugh even more

"What were you saying?" I ask

"I was asking if you'd like to stay the night as well?"

"Uh- okay, sure. Yeah. I'd like that." I mumble and Liam and I finally start writing.

We finally come up with one song combining all of our brainwork. It's surprising that Louis and Harry get the most work done since they were goofing off the most.

"How do you guys do that?" I ask curiously.

"What?" Louis asks.

"This, manage getting more writing done as compared to us while all you were doing was goofing off."

At this Louis looks at Harry and gives him a secretive smile before laughing and wiggling his fingers. "Magic." Harry laughs and I shake my head.

"Guess we should get going?" Josh asks, speaking up pretty much for the first time. We all agree and begin packing up.

"See you later, Malik." Liam whispers in my ear bending over my back with his chest to my back as I pack up my stuff, shaking me out of my bones.

"Shit! Don't do that Liam! You killed me!" I say holding a hand over my heart. He just laughs and saying bye to everyone, he leaves.

Harry, Louis and I are the only ones left, because Harry sent Louis are chatting and I'm in my own world, anticipating tonight.

"Bye guys." I say as I walk out.

"Bye Zayn." Louis calls out. "Harry says bye too."

-x-x-

Before I know it, it's night and I'm driving to Liam's. I ring the doorbell.

Liam opens the door and smirks at me. The cheeky bastard is fucking shirtless. "Hey Zayn." he drags out the words with a drawl giving me a once over and making me gulp. He leans against the doorway "Come on in." I step in awkwardly still stunned by the lack of shirt. Not that I'm complaining.

I see that the TV us on and jump when I feel a hand on my lower back.

"Calm down, baby. It's just me." He whispers in my neck and I shudder. "It's just us here today."

"What do you wanna do?"

"Oh there's so much we could do." He drags out the word 'so' suggestively running his fingertips up and down the expanse of my back.

"Let's watch movies, I'm good with that." I gulp and he smirks.

"Make yourself comfortable, let me get some popcorn." He goes into the kitchen.

I let out a breath that I was holding. He's going to be the death of me. I take off my jacket and put it aside. It's way to hot in here. Wonder if he's cranked up the thermostat.

He comes back with a bowl of popcorn and sits down. "Do you mind lowering the temperature a bit? It's way too hot!" I ask.

"Sure." He lowers the temperature and sits back down. He plays a movie that I've never heard of before and settles back into the couch. About 15 minutes later I start feeling cold. I pull on my jacket while Liam just sits there shivering in his shirtless glory.

"Liam put on a fucking shirt. You're going to get sick." I say as I pick up blankets from the other couch, throwing them over us, but he simply pushes them off with a pout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just yesterday i was whining about how shit this is and now i'm posting this on ao3 what's wrong with me


	13. XII

**Liam's POV**

I push off the blankets with an exaggerated fake pout, smirking internally. "How about you cuddle with me instead? It's our thing. We always cuddle while watching movies."

"But the blankets are warm enough." He mumbles with red cheeks.

"Please?" I pout giving him the puppy dog eyes. "We can cuddle under the blankets." I shift closer to him.

"O-okay." He stutters out making me smile victoriously and wrap my arm around his shoulder . His body is tense. I gently rub his arms but he only tenses more.

"Z, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you. Just relax." I murmur comfortingly not wanting him to be so tense. I actually like him and I don't wanna scare him away. He nods and relaxes very slightly. I run my hand through his hair. He hates having his hair touched but let's me do it. He says it calms him down. I feel him relax and lean into me causing me to stop my ministrations.

"Don't stop." He mumbles and noses at the joint of my shoulder and neck. I smile and continue running my hand through his hair.

An hour later the movie is over and I'm tired. I try to move but Zayn clings on to me, tightening his grip around my waist. He's asleep. I feel fondness for him overtake my senses making me kiss him... on the nose. It's enough to wake up. His eyes flutter open and he gives me a sleepy smile. "Tired." He says sleepily, burying his face in my chest.

"Same. Let's get to bed, come on, come on then." I say shaking him gently.

"Cuddles?" He asks in his lovely sleepy voice.

"Yes, we'll cuddle." I roll my eyes smiling fondly. He smiles and we sleepily trudge to my room, crawling under the covers and falling asleep almost instantly.

I wake up to warmth surrounding all my senses. I feel the comforting weight of Zayn against my chest with my arms around him. His head resting against my chest, curled in on himself. He looks so carefree. I can't resist it. I peck his nose making him stir sleepily. "Morning Zayn." I say cheerfully.

"Shh, too loud for the morning!!" He moans making me laugh. I forget that he isn't a morning person.

"SORRY!!" I yell and he hits me. "Ow! Bad boy, don't hit daddy." I scold playfully only realising the implication of my words after I say them. He laughs nervously.

"What day is it?" He asks, placing one hand on my chest and rubbing his eyes with the other.

"Saturday."

"Yassss. Good night!" He says promptly and snuggles into my chest.

"Sorry Malik, you need to wake up." I say, shaking him before he falls asleep again.

"Why?" He whines.

"Because we're making breakfast. Come on!"

"No!!" He drags out the o "I wanna sleep, breakfast in bed." He turns on his side pressing his back to my chest.

"Sorry, love I'm not your boyfriend." I pat his waist making sure he's awake.

"Maybe you should be." He replies cheekily.

"Maybe I should be." I agree, lowering my voice and cocooning him in my arms.

"Uhm- I- I mean- I don't- Liam I-" he's blushing profusely.

"What Zayn? Are you okay?" I ask innocently, not dropping my husky tone, enjoying the effect I have on him.

"Yeah, just peachy." He whimpers weakly.

"Okay then, I'm going to make pancakes. Meet me downstairs in twenty." I say cheerfully, speaking normally now. I throw off my blankets and go downstairs leaving a perturbed Zayn in my wake.

Twenty minutes later the pancakes are ready and Zayn isn't here. I huff and piling the pancakes on a plate and picking up a bottle of maple syrup and chocolate sauce, I put it all in a tray and head upstairs. Zayn is peacefully sleeping. I feel a smile grow on my face and I place the tray on the bedside table and climb into my empty spot. "Wake up you arse." I shake him awake.

"What do you want  _Lim_ a?" He whines, sitting up, his voice going higher with each word.

 _'_ _You_ _.'_  "Not much. I just brought you pancakes." I say softly.

"Thank you." He blushes and looks down in his lap.

"I have to be a good boyfriend." I say cheekily and he mumbles "Shut up."

We eat in silence and suddenly I can't bear it. "Do I even have a chance with you?" I ask desperately.

"What do you mean, Li?" He looks at me with a soft look in his eyes

"Is there even a chance of us?" I whisper brokenly.

"You know the answer to that." He replies quietly.

"No I don't!! I flirt, you brush it off, I'm cheeky, you turn away, I'm sweet, you take it as a friendly gesture. How am I supposed to know?"

"Maybe I'm waiting for you to actually ask me, for real?" He mumbles almost inaudibly.

"Fine then, Zayn Malik, I really like you, you already knew that but whatever, would you like to go out with me?"

"Um...." He pretends to think with a smirk.

I gasp and whack his arm. "Don't be a dick!"

"Just kidding. I'd love to go out with you."

"Of course you would." I smirk.

"Don't ruin it, Payne." He scolds. My smirk widens and I lean in, kissing him softly. I feel him smiling as I tangle my fingers in his hair. He places his hand on my neck, pulling me in. I pull away before he can deepen the kiss and rest my forehead against his as my hand rests in the crook of his neck, gently thumbing his lip. I softly kiss him again making him giggle.

"I like your giggle." I smile.

"I like you." He says daringly and I beam at him.

"Well that's good because I happen to like you too." With that I pull him in for another kiss. One taste and I'm addicted to him already. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last ziam centric chapter i swear...


	14. XIII

**Louis POV**

I wake up to my phone ringing. It's 3 am for fucks sake. I pick up my phone just as it stops ringing and groan. I check the contact ID. It says Harry. I quickly call back and he answers on the first ring.

"Louis I'm s-sorry for waking y-you. I'm o-okay. Just g-go back to sleep, y-yeah?" He whimpers out.

"Harry!! What's wrong? Why are you crying? Where are you?" I throw off my duvet and quickly get out, pulling on my shoes, holding my phone between my ear and shoulder.

"I'm o-okay, r-really! I'm at h-home."

"Leave your balcony door open, I'll be there in 10." I say hanging up before he can protest. I take out my car keys from my bedside drawer and run out being as quiet as possible. I back my car out of the garage and quickly drive to Harry's place. I pull into the driveway and rush to his balcony. I'm glad his room is right there and not on one of the many other floors. I enter through the balcony and see the room empty. At least I think it's empty until I hear a sob. I turn around and find Harry under the desk. I crawl under and try to pull him out. "NO DON'T TOUCH ME, NO!!!" He screams.

"Harry, shh, calm down, it's just me. It's Louis, love. Calm down."

He shakes his head and pushes me away, his hands over his ears. That's when I finally realise that he is having a panic attack. There is nothing I can do but wait because he won't let me touch him and starts screaming as I begin to speak. He eventually crawls out and wraps his arms around me. I pull him into my lap. "Shh, it's okay Hazza, I'm right here baby, it's okay, you're okay. I got you, love." I gently rub his back as he silently cries into me. I just sit there rocking him slowly till he finally calms down.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." he mumbles into my neck.

"It's okay, Haz, I'm here for you. Was that a panic attack?" I run my hands through his hair.

"Y-Yeah, they don't happen very often but when they do, they're horrible. You probably think I'm a freak." he tries to pull away but I only hold him tighter.

"No. I could never think badly of you." I murmur comfortingly. "Do you want to talk about what triggered your panic attack at three in the morning?"

"It was a nightmare about my past." he closes his eyes and tears roll down his cheeks.

"Oh, Harry!" I pull him closer if that's even possible and he clings on. "Harry please, just tell me what happened. I can help you."

"No Louis, you'd run away. I'm far too broken."

"I'd never run away from you, I don't care if you're too broken. I want to fix you." I mean it. I'd never run away from him.

"Some other day. Can you just hold me tonight?" he pleads and my heart breaks.

"Of course, love. Anything." He snuggles into me and sitting on the floor, I just cuddle him. His arms wrap tightly around me. I start humming and gently rock him like a baby, feeling him smile into my neck. He falls asleep after a while. I pick him up trying not to wake him and tuck him in. I slowly back away and before I can leave he wakes up.

"Don't go, Louis."

I kneel by him. "Sleep Harry. Mum will be worried if I'm not home."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be selfish. I feel scared."

"You're anything but selfish, love. It's okay, I'll stay."

"Thank you, Lou. I love you." He mumbles sleepily. My heart skips a beat and butterflies swoop in my stomach. I nearly giggle.

"I love you too Hazza." I say, lying down next to him. I set my alarm for 6:30 am, giving me enough time to back since mum knows better than to wake me on a Sunday. I let myself fall asleep holding the little curly haired boy I've grown so fond of.

-x-x-x-

My alarm wakes me up and I reach over to shut it off. When u turn back I see Harry smiling lazily.

"Oops." I laugh, not meaning to wake him

"Hi." He grins. "Why did you set an alarm?"

"I need to go home. If mum finds me away, I'm screwed. I'll see you later okay?" I get out of bed and lace my shoes.

"Okay." He smiles as I open the balcony door. "Hey Louis?" I turn around. "Thank you." I go back to him and hug him tight, kissing his forehead lovingly.

"You're welcome." He smiles wide and I leave.

I sneak into my room and lie down happily. Around 10 am my phone buzzes with a text. It's Zayn

**zayn: hey lou, wanna go out 4 movies? me n li r gng 2nite**

**louist91: nah man, im good. id rather not be the 3rd wheel**

**zayn: waaaait, who told u we got 2geder :/**

**louist91: u just did and you're spelling is atrocious.**

**zayn: *your. chk ur grammar 1st**

**louist91: shut up zaynie poo. enjoy it date and use protection**

**zayn: fuk u man! -_-**

I laugh and set my phone aside. well that's the end of Operation Ziam. I text Niall to let him know and let sleep overtake me

"WAKE UP LOULOU!!" I hear a loud scream.

"Shut up, lemme sleep." I turn away, my bed creaking because of my jumping figure.

"Lou!! You promised to take us out today." Another voice yells.

 _'_ _Daisy_ _and_ _Phoebe_ _!'_ I mentally groan. I sit up irritably. "Go away you monsters! I need my sleep. I'll take you out in the evening."

"LOUIS TOMLINSON!! I WANT YOU READY IN HALF AN HOUR TO TAKE YOUR SISTERS OUT!!" Mum screams and I sigh. Yup this is my Sunday. I get out of bed and get dressed and take my sisters out.  
  



	15. XIV

**Louis' POV**

Harry and I sit at our lunch table and talk. It's more of me trying to convince him to sing.

"Come on Hazza!!! You have an amazing voice!!"

"Louis, you know I can't. I told you I'd ruin it."

"You won't ruin anything, love. Please do it!"

"Lou I want to but I just can't."

"For me Harry. Do it for me. Please?" I whisper.

"I just can't." He holds his head in his hands.

"Try? We'll position you in such a way that you only see me. You can pretend it's just the both of us, please? Try during practice today?"

He takes a deep breath. "Okay Lou. I'll try for you." He says, his voice cracking. I wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Thank you so much, Harry. I love you."

"I love you too, Louis. You're welcome." He giggles. He fucking _giggles._

"Awww Hazzy. You just giggled." I coo and he pouts.

"No, I didn't."

"Did too."

"Did not!!!"

"You did Harry."

"I didn't Louis stop it."

"But it's cute. You deffo giggled."

"But I didn't."

"Just admit it Harry. You giggled."

"I did not giggle Louis William Tomlinson."

"But you did." I pout.

"Louis!!!"

"Fine whatever."

"Don't be mad now." He rubs my arm.

"You're lying. I don't like liars."

"For heaven's sake, Louis!" I stick my tongue out at him and cross my arms stubbornly.

"Lou...." I ignore him. "Louis." He singsongs and I continue ignoring him. "Tommo!" I roll my eyes. "Fine then I'm leaving." He gets up irritably.

"No!" I yell and he raises his eyebrows at me.

"I'm not gonna sit here while you ignore me."

"Why don't you just admit that you giggled?" I whine.

"I'm going now."

"Okay okay okay. That topic is over. No more of it."

"Good." He sits down and I make a face at him. "I can't believe you're fighting me over a damn giggle."

"HA!" I point at him. "So you admit it was a giggle."

"LOUIS!!"

"Fine." I huff. "But you admitted it." I murmur under my breath. I pout and my phone buzzes.

**New message: from *peach emoji, eggplant emoji* group**

**Z Milk:** **_guys wat abt practice 2day?_ **

**Neil:** **_dunno abt evry1 else bt m in_ **

**You:** **_me n harry r in, sumbody gotta tell drummah boi_ **

**Hazza:** **_;) see y'all there._ **

**Z Milk:** **_at least he texts us now smh_ **

**You:** ** _don't be r00d milky boi_**.

**Neil:** **_HIIIII HARRREHHH_ **

**Hazza:** **_HIIIII NIIIIAAAALLLLL_ **

**Lima Bean:** **_sheesh do u hv 2 b loud over text too? I'll tell Josh. m in 2._ **

**You:** **_BUT LIMA LOUD IS FUNNNNNNNNNNN. N WE'RE ALL FUN PPL_ **

**Hazza:** **_Louis named the convo didn't he?_ **

**You:** **_how dare u accuse moi of such a wicked deed...._ **

**Lima Bean:** **_wait for it_ **

**Neil:** **_wait for it_ **

**You:** **_obviously it was me._ **

**Z Milk:** **_wait for it_ **

**You:** ** _ha. too slow. #fail_**. _**My little sisters who r half our age type faster.**_

**Hazza:** **_is he always like this?_ **

**Neil:** **_always_ **

**Lima** **Bean:** **_always._ **

**You:** **_do u not know moi young harold?_ **

**Z Milk:** **_always_ **

I sigh. He's a fail. Now and always.

**You removed Z Milk from the conversation.**

**Lima Bean:** **_LPUID!!!!_ **

**Neil:** **_NO CHILL HAHAHAH #LEGEND_ **

**Hazza:** **_that was rude and very hilarious I don't know whether to roll my eyes and laugh or hit you_ **

**You:** **_it's Louis, peasant. Idk this lpuid u speak of. Thank you Neil. Bow down to the king. Don't hit me Hazza. I'm too beautiful._ **

**Lima Bean added Z Milk to the conversation.**

**Z Milk:** **_fuk u tommo._ **

**You:** **_eww no. 1 i dnt fooking bottom. 2 keep ur ugly away frm me._ **

**Neil:** **_"fooking" I KNEW YOU WERE A TOP._ **

**You:** **_who da fuk changed fooking in my phone to fooking?_ **

**Hazza:** **_fooking to fooking lmao_ **

**You:** **_who the fook changed f u c k i n g to fooking?_ **

**Neil:** **_not me. I'm not stupid enough to take a chonce with your phone._ **

**Z Milk:** **_chonce hahaha fook ded_ **

**Lou:** **_Lima imma fook u up._ **

**Lima Bean:** **_wasn't me I swear._ **

**Hazza:** **_actually it was me.. Both for Niall and Louis._ **

**You:** **_oh..it's okay den. I'll just change it bck_ **

**Neil:** **_#whipped_ **

**Lima Bean:** **_#whipped_ **

**You:** **_#notfookingwhipped_ **

**Z Milk:** **_#whipped_ **

**Z Milk:** **_oh for god sakes._ **

**You:** **_#fail #fail #fail_ **

**Neil:** **_how does 1 manage to fail thrice in 1 convo?_ **

**You removed Neil from the conversation.**

**You:** **_there is only 1 sassy shit in dis convo. ME._ **

**New message: from Neil**

**_Sorry. Add me back. No more being a sassy shit._ **

I sigh and add him back, locking my phone. Harry looks at me and we both burst into laughter.

-x-x-

"Y'all ready?" Josh calls and we nod. "Kay. Five six seven eight!"

Niall begins his solo with all instruments and we all nod along. Harry doesn't join in the last line but I let it slide. Just as Niall finishes I begin nodding along to the beat. I internally pray that Harry sings his part

Zayn starts the chorus and the drum beats get louder and stronger. All of us are supposed to join in the end. We all do but Harry doesn't. I decide to give it time.

Liam continues with his solo but when Harry doesn't start his I decide to stop the practice. "Hold on!" I call out and Josh Niall and Liam stop playing. I go over to Harry and kneel down beside him placing my hands on his knees. "Harry...."

"I told you I couldn't do it, Lou." He mumbles only for me to hear. I take his hand.

"Harry, I know you can do it, okay? I have faith in you love. Come on. Try, once again, just try."

"Okay. I'm sorry if I'm unable too."

"Hey!! Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you can do it if you want to." I take my place. "Let's take it from the top yeah?" I say and we begin.

Twenty failed tries and nearly two hours later, Harry still can't sing. He gets up and walks out mumbling "I need a breather" to me.

They all just stare at him incredulously as he walks out. "What's his deal?" Zayn exclaims rudely.

"Shut up Zayn. He's been through a lot. You don't know shit and you can't judge him. I'll be back. Take a water break or something y'all. We're meeting back in five." I walk out.

Harry is leaning on the balcony railing with his shoulders hunched. I go over and tap his shoulder making him jump.

"Oh it's you." He looks at me for a split second.

"Yeah. You okay?"

He hums in the affirmative. "I'm sorry, though. I can't do it."

"But Harry I-"

"No Lou." He holds up his hand. "I can't and I won't." He crosses his arms stubbornly and looks over my shoulder, avoiding eye contact.

"There's still two weeks. You can do it y'know."

"I heard Zayn, Louis. He's annoyed with me. It was very nice of you to defend me but I'm sorry. They just don't have as much patience with me."

"Harry Edward Styles, I'm going to get you to sing, no matter what, just you wait." I say determinedly. "Come on in. We still have 20 minutes." I drag him in. "Okay boys, let's do this, this time Harry will sing." I glare at him playfully.

As we begin the chorus I kneel by Harry. "Sing love." I whisper as his part comes but he just looks around fearfully. 3 practices later, he's still scared. "Let's wrap this up, it's getting late." I call and with murmurs of agreement everyone starts packing. "Good practice lads." I say and Zayn snorts.

"Zayn?" He turns around. "Wanna talk to you." I turn to Harry. "I'll be back in a minute." I grab Zayn by the arm and drag him out.

"What the fuck Lou, let go of my fucking arm." He yanks his arm out of my grasp.

"Zayn you can't fucking do that."

"What'd I do?"

"Harry's trying alright? You can't fucking discourage him like that. This is his fucking tune and most of his lyrics. Least you could do is be grateful."

"Listen man. This thing is in two weeks. Dunno about you but I really value 95% of my grade."

"More than a friend?"

"More than some selectively mute weirdo!"

"ZAYN!!!"

"WHAT LOU??? ALL YOU EVER FUCKING DO ANYMORE IS HANG OUT WITH HIM!!! IT'S ALWAYS HARRY HARRY HARRY!!! I WAS YOUR BEST MATE MAN. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WE USED TO GO OUT EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!"

"You mean we used to get stoned out of our fucking minds every other day. We used to bully little children. Zayn I became a better person. Man if weed is what our friendship is built on then I'm fucking glad I spend almost all my time on Harry. Have you ever even tried to get to fucking know him? Do you know the kind of shit he's been through? You're a shit friend dude. He means a lot to me okay? I really care about him. I myself don't know what he's been through but I'm gonna do every fucking thing I can to protect him."

"You're mad Tommo. You're infatuated with him."

"This isn't infatuation man. Infatuation was what you had with David Beckham in 7th grade. If this was you Zayn, I wouldn't have abandoned you and I'm not gonna abandon him either. I'm not infatuated with him. I care about him. I- I - " I shake my head. "Forget it. I'm going home. Call me when you clear your fucking head and stop acting like a fucking twat."

"No wait. Say it. What you were gonna say. You what? You're in love with him, aren't you? You're whipped. You don't just care about everyone Tommo. You're a sassy little shit who doesn't give a fuck and suddenly Harry comes around and you're Mother Teresa? You're in fucking love. And you're gonna fucking regret it. He's mad and he's gonna ruin you."

"I'm not" I clear my throat. "I'm not in love with him. He's not gonna ruin me and he definitely isn't mad. He's gonna sing on the final day and he's gonna do it better than you. You pride your vocals don't you? He's gonna fucking show you man. He's gonna own the song and no one will spare you a second glance. Don't fucking talk to me or Harry unless what you've got to say is a fucking apology because you fucking owe it after all this bs you just said." I storm back in. "Harry?" I see him crouched near the entrance door. "Shit are you okay darling?" I crouch near him.

"Please don't scream. Too loud. My head hurts." He pulls at his hair.

"Harry, oh my god, I'm so sorry." I wrap my arms around him. "Calm down, love. It's just me. It's just Louis. Shhhhh calm down baby. Take a deep breath. Breathe for me." He buries his head in my neck and cries.

"Too loud. Too many screams. Too much fighting. Too much too much too much."

I hush him. "Don't worry baby. No more fighting or loud screams or anything okay? Breathe with me." I hold him close and he slowly calms down.

"Sing for me?" He requests.

"Of course. I start singing the first song that comes to mind. This by Ed Sheeran.

"I love Ed Sheeran." I smile softly.

"You are the start of something new..." I finish with a warm smile helping Harry up and we go to my car, Harry falling asleep as soon as I buckle him up.


	16. XV

**Louis' POV**

It's been almost week since Zayn and I had that fight. We haven't looked at each other since. We've had separate practices since. First one hour with me, Harry, Josh, Liam and Niall and the other hour Zayn, Liam, Niall and Josh. Harry still doesn't sing and I can tell everyone is fast running out of patience.

I don't know what to do because I can't force him to sing and we can't do it without him, not only is it inconsiderate but it's his music and he's our friend. He's trying. I know he is. We've practiced multiple times at his place and he does it perfectly. He just can't do it in front of the lads. I've noticed him joining in with Niall or in the chorus at times keeping his mouth away from the mic so no one notices. And I know he'll do it eventually.

**New message: from Z Milk**

_**Hi Lou. Was wondering if v cud talk.** _

**New message: to Z Milk**

_**Is it bc u wanna**_ **_apologise?_**

**New message: from Z Milk**

_**Yes. Bring h w/u?** _

**New message: to** **Z Milk**

_**I'll c u @ practice** _

I sigh. Let's see how this goes.

-x-x-x-

"Hi." Zayn says.

"Get on with it Malik."

"Fine. Harry?" He turns around from where he was pulling out his guitar. "I wanna talk to you." He leaves his guitar and comes over. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I don't know what you've been through and how hard life has been for you and it was very wrong of me to assume and to get mad at you. Take your time but make it quick alright? The performance is in a week. Try your best and well if Louis trusts you then I think I can too. I trust him and if he thinks you can do it then I'm sure you can. I'm sorry."

He takes a deep breath and I wrap an arm around his shoulder. "You okay?" He nods and murmurs in my ear to tell Zayn that it's alright.

"He says it's okay and that you're forgiven and that he'll try his best." Harry smiles at Zayn who smiles back and thanks him. Harry leaves and I turn to follow him.

"Lou?"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry man. I shouldn't have said all that. Truth is I miss my best friend and I think I got very jealous. Don't be a stranger yeah?" He pats my shoulder and walks past me.

"Z?"

He turns. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry too. For implying that our friendship only existed because of weed and for not hanging out with you as much."

He laughs and hugs me tightly. "Asshole."

"Right back at you milky boy." I pat his back.

We practice repeatedly trying to encourage Harry to sing but it's easier said than done.

"Harry man listen. We've only got one week left and we can't afford to waste much time lad. You gotta try." Josh bangs the drums angrily and Harry winces.

"Hey!" I wrap my arms protectively around Harry. "Fuck you man. He's trying alright. You don't have to sing alright? You don't know how hard it is. You got a problem then fucking leave. We can make it work without drums or get a new drummer. You're on your own if you leave." That shuts him up. "That's right. Anyone else got a problem with Harry?" I call out and they all shake their heads. "Good. Let's wrap this up for today." They all silently pack up still scared with my outburst. I kneel by him. "Hi." I whisper softly.

"Hi."

"Okay there, love?" He nods.

"You're doing very well, love. Don't listen to them, okay? I know you'll sing. Let them say whatever."

"They're all pissed at me." He whimpers.

"Naw. No baby. Nobody's pissed at you okay? And even if they are remember you did most of the writing, alright? Nobody can say anything to you." I take his hands in mine.

"Harry?" We both look up at Josh and I get up.

"What do you want?"

"I- uhm- I came to apologise. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I've been having a shitty day and I guess I just took it out on you. I shouldn't have."

"Josh man listen, come with me. I'll be right back Harry, stay here okay?."

"I'm sorry man seriously."

"Just listen dude. Harry is very different from all of us okay? He's been through a lot of crap. And none of us know what it is so just please have patience with him. He's trying to get comfortable with us but he won't be able to if you all keep screaming at him. Just try to understand him yeah? Work with me."

"I'll try man. I'm nervous about my grade alright."

"All of us are. Now go home. Chill out, have a nice wank or something. Clear your head." He laughs.

"Bye!" He slings his bag over his shoulder. I smile and walk back in to find Harry ready to leave.

"Ready Harold?"

"Yup."

"Anyhow." I drag out the syllables. "Do you wanna come over tonight? We can watch movies and annoy my sisters."

"Okay. Except for the annoying sisters part."

"But that's the fun part." I whine.

"It's not nice to annoy people."

"But I like annoying people."

"Louis!!!" I laugh.

"Come on. Let's go."

"Hey Harry?" I call out turning left.

"Yeah?" He asks playing fruit ninja on his phone.

"I was wondering something."

"What?" He pauses the game and looks up at me.

"Will I ever even find out what happened to you. What's so bad that you're scared to even speak to people."

"Louis-"

"I'm never gonna pressurise you Hazza. I was just wondering."

He takes in a shaky breath. "Fine. I'll tell you. But please don't hate me."

"I never would Harry. You know that right?"

"Just tell me to leave and I will. We can go back to being classmates who barely acknowledge each other but please just don't hate me. I wouldn't be able to take it."

"Harry. I couldn't hate you. Even if I tried. I care about you okay? Even if you were to murder someone today, my response would probably be 'do you need help hiding the body?' and not 'I don't want to see a murderer's face' so you've got nothing to worry about, okay?"

"Okay." He smiles softly and I pat his hand comfortingly.


	17. XVI

**Louis'** **POV**

"Mum!! Harry's staying over tonight!" I call out as the both of us go up to my room.

"No problem. Have fun boys. Door should be open at all times and no funny business." Her voice floats through the house and I groan in embarrassment.

I seat Harry on my bed and kneel in front of him looking at him expectantly. He doesn't say anything and I raise my eyebrows.

"Well... Go ahead. Tell me." I cross my arms.

He takes in a shaky breath. "Okay." He gets up and starts pacing around. "You might want to sit down and brace yourself."

"Is it that bad?" I ask nervously sitting up on my bed.

"No! I'm just a freak who likes making a big deal out of nothing." He sasses. "Of course it's that bad you idiot." He snaps. "May I?"

"Sure. Sorry."

"Okay" he exhales. "I- I wasn't born in the Styles household. I don't even know my actual last name. My first memories begin in some distant, lonely, old, crumbling orphanage in North Scotland. They mostly include being pushed around by my 'brothers' and 'sisters'." He does air quotes. He breathes deeply.

"Harry.. It's alright... Don't stress, love. You don't have to tell me."

"I know. I want to. I was the quiet and shy kid that never ratted them out. No one found out that it was actually Parker who broke Misty's doll or that it was Nathan that pushed Mike off the roof causing him to be paralysed for the rest of his life. For some reason I was among the first people in my age group to get out of that place. I was 5 when I was taken into that family. I don't even remember them now. They were- amazing- at first. But then I did something. I don't remember what but I know I had done something bad because-" he gulps. "Because then the abuse begun. I don't remember much, I was 5 years old after all. But what I do remember I'll tell you." He breathes heavily.

"Harry, you should-" his breathing becomes even more labored and he starts coughing. "HARRY!!"

"M-my inhaler!" He gasps.

"Inhaler? Where? Where's it?"

"C-coat. My coat po-pocket." He waves in the general direction of the hall closet.

"Fuck. Wait here. I'm getting it." I bolt downstairs and wrench open the hall closet, pulling off Harry's coat from the hangers and hunting for his inhaler in the million pockets. Once I find it I rush back up to him and hold it to his mouth. I press the inhaler and he breathes in the medicine. My hand goes lax with relief but he supports it and presses on top of my thumb again.

"I've got a very bad case of asthma." He explains.

"Harry, let it be okay. I don't need to know."

"But I need to tell you." He says determinedly getting up from the floor.

"At least sit down Harry." I gently push him onto my bed.

"I remember being pushed down the stairs several times." He pulls up his sleeve to his elbow and shows a two inch scar stretching across the expanse of his forearm. There were whippings from what I remember. Belts mostly. But not always. Ropes. A proper whip once. Not sure if that was at the same place or one of my other homes. But then they just sent me back. Beaten and bruised but I was back at the orphanage. I was glad really. At least it was only dealing with the violent children there. Barbara was always lovely to me. The best caretaker I could have. Lovely old woman." He wipes at his eyes.

"Foster home to foster home. One set of abusive parents to another I was sent into various homes. The worst ones I think were the ones that were the best to begin with. My 8th home I think it was. I turned 13 their. I had a massive crush on my 'sister's' boyfriend's best mate. They came around often. Older than me. 'Cooler' than me." He laughs humorlessly.

"I told my 'parents' that I liked him. I had studied about the lgbtqia+ community a lot. It was not a topic that came up when we talked daily so I didn't know exactly how homophobic they were. They yelled at me, a lot. But that was fine. A week later, my foster mom was drunk and smashed a bottle of beer. She picked up a shard of glass while I wasn't looking and well, she was on the floor and I was trying to help her up but she kinda," he lifted the right leg of his jeans and showed another massive scar on the front of his calves. "Then my 'dad' lifted me by my hair and dragged me to my car and dropped me back at the orphanage. Barbara helped me a lot. Bandaged and everything like the lovely woman she is. I was taken into a few homes after that. But then you had my 16th home, the same year. When I was almost 14. My family was lovely, fucking perfect to be honest. But the other day-" he smiles sadly. "This is hard." He clears his throat. "The other day-" his voice starts cracking. "I was-" he sniffles "I was coming home. From school. And it was raining. Really bad. There was so much thunder and noise. And it was so cold. I didn't even have an umbrella. I was drenched. And I was passing a car, this grey car and before I knew it I was in the backseat of the car with this man hovering over me and-" his voice breaks completely. I immediately wrap my arms around him.

"Hey, no. You're okay. You're so brave Harry, so brave. Look, you're here right now. Alive and with me. You're fine Hazza. No one can hurt you anymore. So strong baby, so very strong." I rub his back whispering in his ear.

"He- he- he raped me Louis. H- he forced himself on me."

"Shh, shhh. I know, darling, I know. Deep breaths for me. Come on. Breathe with me." I help him calm down.

"There's more to it."

"What is it?"

"Well... After I got back from that home. I was sent back because they didn't want a child who couldn't even protect himself. I found out that Barbara... She- she died. And this new caretaker came in place of her, Marie. She was a cruel dictator. Everyone hated her. We weren't allowed to speak or refuse to her commands. I was tired and sleepy. I had done all the chores by myself all over the orphanage. And I fell asleep before bedtime. This is a few days before Christmas. She took me out to the backyard and whipped me like a hundred times. With an actual whip. Till the snow was red with blood. She whipped me naked. I protested so much. She threw chilled water at my face. She forced my head into a bucket of ice water whenever I spoke. And she left me. For 3 days. Doused in ice cold water up to my chest, out in snow. The only reason I didn't die was because Barbara's daughter, one of Marie's helpers had taken a liking to me. So whenever Marie fell asleep she'd sneak out back and wrap a blanket around me or add boiling water to the tank I was doused in. When the doctor came for our routine checkup two days before Christmas and asked about me, she was caught and sent to jail. I was severely sick. Hypothermia and a hundred other things. I thought I would die." He sniffles. "But then mum took me in. She and Gems took care of me. They saved me. I didn't speak to them for months and months. But then they got through to me. I was-"

I shush him right then. "Enough, love. Don't be so hard on yourself. I love you okay. I'm here for you. Now and always."

"So you don't want me to get out of here?" He looks at his lap.

"No." I whisper forcing him to look up and wiping the tears from his eyes. "Never Hazza. I'll always be here for you. Like I promised."

"And you aren't disgusted that I didn't save myself from that guy and stand up for myself when Marie went all dictator on me?"

"Harry, I can't say I've been in such a situation or I know what you've been through but I sure as hell know that defending yourself in such times is easier said than done. I really care about you yeah?"

"Thank you." He nuzzles into my neck.

I thread my fingers through his hair. "Of course. Do you wanna sleep?"

"Yes please."

I take him into my arms and tuck him in my bed cuddling him tightly. "I love you." I whisper into his hair.

"I love you too Louis. Thank you. This means so much to me."

"You're welcome, love. You mean so much to me." I kiss the top of his head and fall asleep with him wrapped in my arms.


	18. XVII

**Harry's** **POV**

The first thing I feel when I wake up is the glare of the sun assaulting my eyes. The second is an arm around my waist and a warm body pressed to my back causing me to stiffen. What the hell? Then the events of last night come flooding back to me. I mentally face palm. I was so embarrassing, and stupid.

I slowly turn around to look at Louis. His face is hand crafted by the Greek gods. Even while he's asleep he looks like an angel. With a maroon jumper and messy hair, I've got heaven within inches of my face. There's half a smile gracing his features and the world with his beauty. His long, outrageously long, lashes rest on his cheeks. He's a great person to just sit and like, admire what he's like. All of his breathtakingly beautiful existence. He suddenly opens his eyes wide.

"Take a picture, Harold. It'll last longer." He laughs softly.

"You're awake." I mutter embarrassedly.

"It's hard not to wake up when a certain someone decided to turn with so much movement it felt like an earthquake and then proceeded to stare." I mentally groan. So I wasn't as slow and discreet in my movement as I thought. "By the way, we don't have school today, so we're free. Do you wanna go somewhere or something?"

"Sure it'll be fun." I shrug and his face lights up.

"It's going to be the funnest day ever!! Just be ready by 10." I pick up my phone and text mum to tell her I'll be spending the day with Louis and not to worry. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me back into his chest. I let out a little laugh and turn around to face him, but he's already asleep. I tuck my face into his chest and kiss his neck, nuzzling into his warmth. He laughs softly and strokes my hair. He was awake. He opens his and raises an eyebrow a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Oops?" I offer with a little giggle.

"Hi." He smiles fondly and licks my nose lightly.

"Eugh." I wipe my nose on his jumper trying to contain the butterflies in my stomach.

"Hey." He stretches out the syllables and pouts. "You love me." I sigh inwardly at the truth in the statement.

"I suppose I do. Just a little bit though."

He gasps dramatically. "I shared my clothes and my bed with you."

"Lou..." I look at him. "Shut up." He pouts again.

"Mean." He whispers.

"Oh god fine I love you, now go to sleep. We have to wake up soon if we want to go out by 10." He smiles brightly and tangles his legs with mine. He plays with my hair and I slowly start drifting off to sleep.

Just as sleep is about to overtake me, he asks, "Harry, hypothetically speaking, if I were to ask you on a date, what would you say?"

"Mmmmghfhm," I nuzzle closer to him, "I don't know Lou, lemme sleep." I mumble sleepily. I sense his pout before I see it. "Hypothetically speaking, I'd kiss you." And then the I fall asleep.

-x-

"Harry Harry Harry! Wake up! Go shower! We're leaving in half an hour."

"Where? What? Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Come on, get up you lazy bum, the boys will be coming soon." He lightly hits my butt. I bury my face deeper into the pillow, which, ah, smells like Louis.

"What are you talking about?" I groan, trying to discreetly inhale more of Louis' scent from the pillow.

"Niall, Liam, Zayn and Josh. We're all going out together."

"But I don't wanna get out of bed." I whine.

"Oh really... Have it your way..." He climbs on top of me and attacks my sides with his quick fingers.

"Louis!!!" I shriek. "No don't do that!!" I try to swat his hands away. "Lou no!! STOP!" I squeal trying to get away from him.

"NOPE."

"Ah, no, stop, I'm up, oh god stop." I can't stop giggling.

He huffs and gets up "Come on, up you lazy ass." He tugs on my legs and I get up. "I hate you Tommo." I sigh.

"Oh shut up you don't."

"I do. But anyway..." I rub my eyes. "Where are we going?" I ask through a yawn.

"Bowling."

"I don't like bowling." I pout.

"Why? It's fun."

"I'm crap at it."

"You've never been, have you?"

I smile sheepishly. "No, not really." I awkwardly rub the back of my neck.

He laughs. "If it's any consolation, I'm actually really, pretty shit at it."

"Well you are pretty," I sigh, "and you're most definitely a _littl_ e shit. So I guess you're pretty shit."

" _Harold!_ " He protests indignantly, the word laced with laughter.

"It's Harry!" I say hotly giving him a reproachful look.

"Okay Harold." He laughs and promptly leaves the room. "Be ready in 20 minutes." He calls out loudly.

I sigh and push off the blanket quickly showering and washing my hair. When I get out with a towel wrapped around my hair, I see Louis carefully fixing his hair in the mirror. "LOU?" I call loudly causing him to nearly jump out of his skin and mess up his hair.

"Harry!!" He reprimands and huffs irritably throwing his hands up in the air. "Now you've ruined my hair."

I frown, mentally chiding myself. "Lou?" I call out softly.

"What do you _want_?" He asks exasperatedly turning around to face me and placing his hands on his hips. A frown creasing his forehead and annoyance evident on his face.

I look down, feeling guilty. "'M sorry. Didn't wanna ruin your hair." I nervously twist the bottom of my shirt and shuffle my feet uneasily.

"It's whatever Harry." He says dismissively turning back to the mirror and trying to fix his hair again. I silently stand there watching him try to fix the mess I caused. I feel horrible.

"Louis?"

Louis glares at himself in the mirror and his hands yank on the quiff he'd been so carefully trying to perfect.

"Harry what the fuck is your problem?" He grits his teeth, leaning on the dresser, his eyes angrily focused on me.

I wince. He never swears at me. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to be mad at me."

He turns around, looking furious and angrily throws up his hands making me cower and take two steps away from him and hold my hands over my head to shield myself.

His expression immediately softens and he hurries over to me. His hands gently grip my forearms and pull them down to expose my face. "Harry," he whispers softly.

I look up to the ceiling trying to contain my tears.

"Oh God I'm so sorry, love! I didn't mean to upset you this way. Shit, oh lord, you thought I was going to hit you. I'm so sorry, Hazza." He cups my face in his hands and gently swipes his thumb under my eye, with just enough pressure to catch the tear that was threatening to fall. "I'm so sorry I raised my voice at you."

"I'm sorry I messed up your hair."

"It's fine Harry, it's just hair, I overreacted, just, I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you. I'm so sorry." He then smiles, his hands coming to rest on my waist.

"What is it? Why are you smiling?" I let out a small laugh. (Which Louis will later proclaim was a giggle which it is not!)

"Your hair."

"Huh?" I try to look up at my hair.

"I mean... That towel turban. It's... For lack of a better word because I shall not use the word cute... Endearing."

At this I let out a giggle. (Even I know that wasn't a small laugh) "My hair were wet... Didn't know what to do."

He gently pulls off the towel and my wet hair cause droplets of water to fall on his face. He runs his fingers through my wet hair, getting stuck in a tangle.

"Hate to break it to you Lou, but the hair you can run your fingers through easily in the morning and right after being pulled out of a towel turban only happen in movies." He laughs.

"Them fancy hair products got nothing on your natural curly locks, babe." He winks at me.

"Lou?"

"Yeah?"

"Your hair. They're half mess half quiff."

"Your fault." He pouts and I frown.

"I'm sorry." He 'aww's softly and pulls me into a hug.

"Don't worry about it, love. It's just hair."

My eyes flit to the doorway where Jay is standing and I immediately jump away from Louis.

"Hazza?" He asks confusedly. I try to wordlessly gesture towards the door. He raises an eyebrow. "Harry, use your words, love."

"He's trying to tell you that your mother is at the door." Jay speaks from behind causing Louis to, for the second time in half an hour, nearly jump out of his skin.

"Yeah that." I mumble softly.

"Now... Might I ask what have you boys been up to for the last 5 minutes? Louis, I thought you said you weren't together."

Louis turns red. "Mum we're not." And I nod fervently.

"Oh?" She puts on a slow sweet exaggerated voice, "Harry you're so cute, Harry your towel turban is so endearing, Harry your hair is so nice, Harry marry me."

Louis turns bright red and I look down embarrassedly. "Mum!!"

"What's up with your hair. No more sleepovers in the same room, Tomlinson." My eyes widen. Oh my god. She thinks we-

"MUM!!" Louis nearly screams, running his hand through his hair. "It wasn't like that, I-"

"Harry's saucer eyes say differently."

"Harry!!" He turns to me and I immediately look down.

"You said your hair got messed up because of him what else am I sup-"

"Mrs Tomlinson, it's because I scared him when I got out of the shower. He was fixing his hair." I mumble fiddling with my shirt.

"Oh." She looks as shocked as Louis. "Harry, love, how many times have I told you, Jay. Call me Jay, okay?"

"Yes Mrs-" she glares at me and I clear my throat. "Yes Jay."

She smiles warmly. "Anyhow, I came up to say Niall, Liam and Zayn are here. Along with-" she snaps her fingers trying to remember the name "-yes, Josh."

"We'll be down in a minute." Louis huffs and Jay leaves. He turns to me. "Err," he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, "sorry about mum. She can be really inappropriate at times."

I laugh. "It's okay. Just surprised me s'all."

"Let me just fix up my hair then we'll go." He turns back to the dresser

"Lou!"

"Yeah?"

"Come here!"

He raises his eyebrows but complies. I take in a deep breath and mess his hair up even more.

"HARRY!" I flinch.

"It just looks really good when it's messy." I mumble fidgeting with my shirt again. "Please leave it that way?"

His look softens. "Silly. All you had to do was ask." He runs his fingers through his hair. "Ready to go?" He offers me his arm.

I smile and take it. "Yeah." He laughs softly.

"You're one of a kind Harry. The best kind." He touches my hair and I feel myself blush. A fond smile graces his lips. "And you blush really, really, prettily."


	19. XVIII

**Niall's POV**

"Hi man." I fist bump Louis.

"Hi lad." He smiles warmly, freeing his arm from where it was interlocked with Harry's and casually setting it on his waist.

My eyes fall on Zayn and Liam. They're leaning against the countertop and their hands swinging in between them. One of Liam's hand rests on Zayn's on the said countertop. It's so disgustingly cute. My inner fanboy is coming out. Both my OTP's coming to life.

"Liam." Louis calls. I sigh. It was too good to last.

"Tommo!!" He smiles warmly and gives him his 'Payno special' hug. Harry smiles fondly. "Hi Harry." I look at Liam. Was he really expecting Harry to answer.

"Hi Liam." Harry mumbles and everyone turns around. Well, not Josh because who knows where he went off to. Liam's face splits into a grin so wide I think his face might just break.

"Harry..." I say softly.

"Niall?"

"Nothing man. Just... S'good to hear your voice 'is all." His dimple pops out (or, like, in? Because it's a dimple? I doubt a dimple can pop out) and Louis immediately reaches over to poke it, getting a swat on the arm making him laugh and wrap his arm back around Harry's waist.

I laugh. None of us could get away with swatting Louis without a semi wrestling match.

"Harry?" Zayn calls and Harry kinda just curls into Louis making Zayn wince. A worried look overcomes Louis and he quietly talks to Harry, rubbing his back comfortingly. Louis smiles at Harry and goes over to say something in Zayn's ear. Zayn's face falls visibly and he nods mumbling what sounds like 'I understand.'

"Well lads, let's go? The pins aren't going to fall by themselves." Louis says, clapping his hands together. I snort.

"Like they're going to fall with any help from you." Everyone bursts into laughter, even Josh, who seems to have materialised out of thin air. Even Harry. He has a loud, goofy, booming laugh that makes me smile just a little more.

"Shut up Niall. I'll cut you." Louis sulks and Harry winces, moving a little away from Louis. "Hey, hey, hey! Harry, don't be scared, love. I'm just messing about. I wouldn't actually cut Niall, yeah? I'd probably just use him as a bowling ball instead."

"Man you're fucking wild." I laugh.

"Tell me something I don't know you leprechaun."

"Hey now, lads. I think your unnecessary bickering can continue in the car? Z and I don't have the whole day." Liam says in a calming and patronising voice.

"Don't patronise me!" Louis and I yell in unison and promptly burst into laughter.

"Children," Liam sighs, shaking his head. "I'm friends with absolute children. Honestly, Louis, Daisy and Phoebe are more mature than y'all here."

"Oh shut up Lima, you're just as bad." Louis waves dismissively, going towards the kitchen.

"Oi! Where're you going?"

"Gonna say bye to me mum. Need express signed permission from you for that now, do I, Malik?"

Zayn laughs knowing he's just being his usual sassy self. Yeah you do but sorry man, can't find a pen on me." He jokes, pretending to pat his pockets in search of a pen.

"Fucking twat." Louis huffs and the next second he's having his ear pulled.

"Louis William Tomlinson, we do not use such filthy language in a house full of children." Jay scolds.

"Owww, okay. Sorry mum, please let go of me ear, you're going to pull it right off." Jay glares at him playfully before leaving his ear. "Jesus, woman. You've got a way stronger grip than I anticipated." Louis mumbles rubbing his reddened ear causing everyone to laugh.

"Lads, are we gonna go or what?" Josh asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course we're gonna go. Who's driving."

"Well I walked here, because I was at a friend's before this. And those three came in Liam's car."

"So it's settled. Niall will come with me and Harry and you three can go together again." Louis rests an arm on my shoulder. "What do you say church boy?"

"Hey! I'm not a church boy." I protest indignantly shrugging off his arm.

"Stop pouting." Harry laughs.

"I'm not pouting, don't laugh at me." I threaten.

"Oh Niall, you're so terrifying I'm so sorry forgive me." Harry innocently bats his eyelashes and Louis' mouth drops open.

"Harry??" He asks wondrously turning him to face him.

"Uhm- I- err-"

"That... was fantastic. I fucking LOVE YOU." Louis yells the last two words shrilly making Harry laugh.

Well, if humiliating me makes Louis admit it, then okay.

Jay peers out of the kitchen. "Louis Tomlinson. One more swear word out of that mouth of yours and I swear I will wash your mouth with soap and ground you for a month." She then smiles sweetly, "have a nice day boys," and just like that she disappears into the kitchen again.

"Louis' mom is like the coolest I swear." Liam laughs

"Hey!! You can't say that. You haven't met my mom yet."

"Harry I'm sure your mum is great but Jay is something else." I laugh.

"Hey now, Niall. Anne is supercool okay? She makes the best cookies."

"And for that, young man, I'm never making you cookies." Jay smiles sarcastically, leaning on the wall with her arms crossed. "But as for you nice lads, come on, I just baked a fresh batch. Harry, you as well dear. I would be disappointed if you didn't fight for your mom." We all make way to the kitchen and Jay stops Louis. "No means no, Louis." He huffs and sits on one of the chairs on the dining table.

A minute later we all walk out a few cookies in our hands, and our mouths stuffed, except Harry, who holds only one and sits next to Louis. Jay smiles at us warmly, "enjoy, loves," and goes upstairs.

Harry cautiously watches her leave and as soon as she's out of earshot, he breaks his cookie into two, offering the bigger piece to Louis.

Louis looks at him like he just brought him the moon and opens his mouth. Harry gently places it in his mouth. I gag. Had any of us had the opportunity, we would've shoved the thing down his throat, just to annoy him. The smile Louis gives in return lights up the room.

He wraps an arm around Harry's waist and squeezes him close kissing his temple. Harry blushes and Louis mumbles something in his ear making him turn redder.

"Oi lovebirds, break it up will you? I think my breakfast and cookies are about to make a reappearance." Louis, Harry along with Liam and Zayn look at me sheepishly making Josh laugh.

"What were these two doing? I only noticed Larry here." I jerk my head towards Louis who's giving me the death glare.

"The same. Being disgusting." Josh laughs.

"I can't believe we're fifth wheeling." I sigh.

"We're not even dating." Louis protests hotly.

"Yeah, right." Josh snorts.

"Really, we aren't." Harry says earnestly.

"Uh-huh. Sure honey. Because that's _totally_ what it looks like." I glare at Louis' arm around his waist. "Like how do you manage to cuddle sitting on two separate chairs?"

"Oi, don't sass him. Nobody sasses him." Louis says loudly.

"Uh-huh. Except you." Liam laughs.

"Not even me." He answers loftily.

"Mate, you're whipped." Zayn says his eyes fixated on Liam's thumb rubbing circles on the back of his hand. He then looks at them. "Harry trust me, you've got him wrapped around your little finger."

"You're the one to talk." Louis immediately fires back.

"Okay, okay, lads, calm down. This is not a competition. I thought we were going bowling?" Liam motions for them to keep their voices down.

"Li, but-" Zayn immediately makes to protest.

"Babe-" Liam patronises, squeezing his hand, "it's Louis. You'll never win an argument against him. You know better than to try."

Louis smiles proudly. "Well lads, I'm getting the car out of the garage. Harry? Niall? Be outside in five." He gets up and goes out of the house.

"Yeah we should go to. We haven't got all day." Liam smiles at Zayn and leaves to get the car out of Louis' garage.

Harry's face falls, just a little, but it does and he tries to make himself small, invisible. I look at him curiously but he's just playing with the hem of his- wait- LOUIS' JUMPER?

Harry nearly falls and Zayn and Josh look at me weirdly. Oops. I think I just thought out loud, like really loud. "Y-yeah. He gave it to me this morning." He mumbles looking down.

"Hey, Harry, it's fine, sorry, I was just thinking and I guess I didn't realise that I actually yelled it out."

"Why were you even thinking about Louis' jumper?" Zayn asks doubtfully while Josh is nearly doubled over in silent laughter.

"No reason." I give him a look saying 'I'll tell you later' and he nods understanding the gesture. "Anyhow, I think we should go? Louis will have our, no, _my_ head. He doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Yeah okay, let's go. Liam will be waiting as well." Josh agrees wiping away his tears of laughter. I quickly go to the kitchen finding Jay there with Phoebe and Daisy.

"Thanks for having us, Jay. And thanks for the cookies."

"Of course Niall, you're like my own son. Speaking of my own son, did he like the cookies." I blanch. "Oh yes I saw that. Harry's a lovely boy. Louis needs someone like him. He was made to grow up too fast, never having the time for anything other than family and friends. Not one single relationship, that one. I must admit it was my fault."

"He is. He really loves Louis. And Louis loves your cookies, Jay. Always has, always will. He was just being his whipped self. And it wasn't your fault. All of us thought that what you and Mark had was special. Louis loves you, and he doesn't blame you in the least."

"Oh I know. I plan on giving him his share when he got home. Now go on ahead, Louis will have your head." She laughs airily.

I smile warmly and kiss her cheek. "Bye Niall!" Daisy and Phoebe call.

"Bye girls, have a nice day and don't give your mother too much trouble. Louis gives her enough as it is." I wink.

"I would protest but it's true. He's the worst of the lot. But I love him anyway. Really helps at home that one."

"I know." I say softly and leave. I rush to the car and open the back door

"Niall, I swear I'm-"

"Sorry mate, got held up talking to Jay and the girls."

"Oh, okay." He says and turns the key in the ignition, starting the car and backing it out of the driveway.

He'd never admit it. But the only people he cares about as much as Harry are his mother and sisters. He absolutely adores them.

"Oi Harry?" I call and he turns to face me questioningly. "Jay knows about you slipping Louis part of your cookie." His eyes widen.

"Was she mad?"

"No, just said that you're a lovely boy and that Louis needs someone like you." That makes him blush and turn to face the front. "Are you guys really not dating?" I ask with a sigh.

"Not yet." Louis answers casually, taking the turn to the arcade and winking at Harry. Harry blushes and hides his face in his hands and wow OTP man.

Like honestly. Zayn and Liam are cute and everything, but they were so slow and shying about each other. These two are polar opposites and its really interesting to watch them interact. Louis would totally top.

"Niall, man, I appreciate the sentiment but we aren't even together yet. Too soon to say."

I did it again. I mentally face palm "Are you implying that you would bottom? YOU?"

"No, I'm implying that it's too soon for us to consider sex and it should be the last thing on _your_ mind."

I rub the back of my neck sheepishly and then my eyes fall on Louis' hand, which I earlier assumed was on the gearshift, but... it's on Harry's thigh?

"Niall," Louis says slowly, "You need some training with not thinking out loud."

I sigh. "I do."

"Okay, we're here."

"Great!!" I immediately get out of the car and rush to the venue only to find it locked.

I turn to face Louis and Harry. "What the fuck?" Louis mumbles and opens the venue website. "The arcade will be closed for about two weeks from the 18th of December to the 31st for maintenance reasons and will open for the new year." He looks at me. "What the fuck. Let me inform the lads." He quickly calls a number and puts his phone to his ear.

"Z, man, don't come, the arcade is closed New Year's." He waits to here what Zayn says. "I don't know man, hold for a second." He looks at us. "What do you lads wanna do then?"

Harry and I look at each other and he shrugs. "Paintball? I've heard all good things about Go Ballistic. It's on Herringham Road"

"Okay. Z, how's paintball?" He waits for him to answer. "Yeah okay okay cool, meet us at Go Ballistic on Herringham Road."


	20. XIX

"This, my friends, is the best paintball venue of all times. Welcome to GoBallistic!" Niall dramatically gestures towards the sign.

"Niall, it's just a paintball venue." Louis rolls his eyes and Harry chuckles. "By the way, where's the rest of them. They were closer to the venue than us."

"I don't know. Let's at least get the markers, paintballs, goggles, paintballing clothes and hoppers." Niall claps excitedly.

"And what about the pods and harnesses? Do you plan on holding your paintballs or what? And squeegees? And the pads? And gloves?" Louis snickers.

"Stop mocking me you asshole. I'm not paying for you anymore."

"Ni... Who are you kidding. You weren't paying for me earlier either." Louis laughs and they enter the venue.

"Louis?"

"Yes Harry? Everything okay?"

"I don't know what all that stuff is."

"Oh it's simple really, markers are your paintball guns, hoppers are like the loaders. They load your gun, I'm assuming you know what paintballs and goggles are-"

"Why do we need goggles?"

"Harry I'm sure you don't want to be hit by a paintball in the face. Anyhow pods are your carriers for the paintballs and harnesses let you easily access the pod, squeegees are used when a pod bursts inside the marker. You can always shoot through it but accuracy really decreases, the rest is protective gear."

"Lou you sound like a professional." Harry giggles.

"Nah, babe, just play a lot."

"I'm nervous, what if I mess up?"

"It's okay Harry, I'll keep you on my team, get you through it. You'll do well yeah? And it's just a game. For fun yeah?" Louis pats his shoulder and follows Niall to the rental area.

"For fun." Harry echoes and follows the other two. When he reaches the rental, they're having a full blown argument.

"Niall are you an _idiot?_ We don't need the fucking 120 pod packs!! We're not going to be here our whole lives!!"

"10? Are you _insan_ e? Do you think you're a sharpshooter of sorts? Do you expect not to miss at all?" Niall screams.

"W-what's going on?" Harry asks timidly but no one pays attention.

"Niall you absolute idiot, there's only three people to shoot!! That's still 3 paintballs per person. 3!!! Are you a two year old with a shit aim?" Louis scoffs.

"Listen, stop being an idiot. What if the ball bursts?" Niall irritably rubs his temples

"Still 9 left, three per person. What are the odds of the ball bursting anyway?"

"Go for 10 if you want, I'm going for a 120."

"That gives you an unfair advantage!! You're probably not even allowed to have differently sized pods."

"Louis we never have this argument, why today?"

"Because Liam always decides." He huffs.

"Louis?" Harry calls softly and the frustrated lad turns to him, his frown lightening.

"Yes, Haz? Everything okay?"

"I asked you what was wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't hear. Nothing, really. Niall's being an idiot." Louis waves his hand.

"Am not!" He protests hotly.

"Are too!!" Louis nearly yells.

"Am-"

"Woah, woah lads, let's calm down yeah!" Liam runs past Harry and between the two. "What's the problem, guys?"

"The _problem_ is that Niall wants a 120 pod pack and there's no way in hell we need anything bigger than a 10."

Liam turns to Niall as Josh and Zayn enter talking animatedly. "Niall, you realise 120 is very unreasonable? There's only six of us, lad. We really don't need that many."

"But 10! Only 10? That's, that's too little!" Niall protests

"Louis, you need to compromise too, man. 10 is too little."

"Um, Liam?" Harry calls softly.

"Yeah Harry?"

"How about we vote? You can decide a number and we can vote?"

"Yeah okay. Okay let's vote, good idea Harry! Okay, who wants a 10 pod pack?"

"Me." Louis firmly says. No one else bothers. Louis looks at everyone in disbelief and Harry sighs softly.

"Me." He says giving Louis a small smile. Louis' face lights up and he winks at him. Harry blushes and Niall gawks at them.

Zayn snorts and mumbles "get married already," under his breath and Josh doubles up with silent laughter.

"Okay." Liam clears his throat. "Okay," he repeats "well, for 120?"

Only Niall voices in agreement. The girl at the rental calls, "does my vote count?"

"Oh shut up you only want the extra money." Louis huffs. Harry gasps.

"Louis, don't be rude!!" He slaps his arm.

Liam turns around and smiles at the girl. "Thank you, but no, sorry." And Harry is instantly making heart eyes at Liam. Louis scoffs with disdain.

"Okay then, sorry Ni, that's definitely out. Okay what about -"

"Me." Zayn says.

Liam laughs softly. "Appreciate the sentiment babe, love the support but we need a number yeah? 30, lads?" He looks at everyone.

Josh shrugs his agreement, saying "yeah sounds reasonable." Harry looks torn between voicing his opinion and supporting Louis.

"Well," he mumbles, "I guess that sounds best?" He looks away from Louis, not wanting to see disappointment on his face.

Louis sighs. "Okay, I guess, we already have a majority but, yeah, I guess Liam's right."

Everyone turns to Niall. "Well I'm outnumbered aren't I?"

"We still care what you think Niall." Liam says.

"In that case, I agree, it's way better than either of our extreme ideas."

They all cheer and go to rental counter. Louis stops Harry by wrapping his arm around his stomach. Harry falls back into Louis' chest. "Hi." Louis says cheekily.

"Hi." Harry sighs breathlessly. "What's up?"

"Thank you for supporting me, even if I was unreasonable." He mumbles into his neck

Harry places his hands over Louis' on his waist and pats it lightly. "Of course, Lou. Come on, the boys are waiting." He slowly pulls away and takes his hand. Louis double takes but smiles at him warmly, intertwining their fingers more firmly. Harry grins up at Louis, a warm blush on his cheeks. Louis laughs softly and brushing a curl out of his face he drags the boy along.

They buy the required equipment and rush to the open grounds.

"Teams!"

"I call Liam!" Zayn yells.

"NO FAIR!! You can't always 'call Liam'" Louis rolls his eyes.

"Oh shut up whiner." Zayn flips him off.

"Fuck you. Harry you're with me."

"Louis, you don't even know how I play."

"So what? I want you on my team anyway." Harry blushes and looks down.

"Fine then, Josh is with us." Liam sniggers

"Fuck," Louis mumbles under his breath. "Whatever, Niall come on, we got arses to beat."

"They're the best players Lou." Niall murmurs.

"I know, we got this."

"Oi?"

"What Malik?" Louis sighs.

"Loser buys lunch for a month." He states and Louis hesitates.

"Scared Tommo?" Liam challenges.

"You wish, Payno." Louis seethes. "You're on."

"Louis!!!" Harry gasps.

"Don't worry, Hazza. Get ready for one month of free lunch."

"Louis you're gonna get us killed."

He shushes them and pulls them to the changing rooms. "Okay now... We have a definite disadvantage," he starts, pulling of his shirt, "they have better players, while we have Harry who's never played," Harry looks down. "Hey now, none of that Harry. I picked you, and I would pick you again if I could. Anyhow, so let's set some rules, no creeping up on each other to tip off. So if you sense anyone behind you just shoot. And be as quiet as possible. Harry you'll stay with me. Niall, you gotta cover as much area as possible. Take out Liam first if you can. We gotta get this. I'm running out on money. I barely have enough for my lunch, let alone a second person. Let's fucking do this."

They nod solemnly and pull on the jerseys, picking up their equipment. "Now careful, they could be outside already."

They go out one by one and go in two different directions. Niall quickly takes cover of a tree.

"Harry watch out!" Louis pulls Harry as a paintball flies past them. "Fucking Liam." Harry pulls Louis down as a ball narrowly misses their heads. "Good one, babe." They rush to take cover of a rock. "Shoot! NIALL WATCH OUT!" Louis screams and Niall turns in time to see Josh shooting. Niall jumps out of the way and rolls on the ground, quickly standing up to shoot Josh, missing narrowly, the ball losing speed and falling to the ground creating a magenta splatter on the grass.

"YO TOMMO BEHIND YOU." Niall yells and Louis turns around and shoots instinctively, nailing Liam square in the chest.

"Fucking hell." He groans wiping teal paint off his chin.

"Niall!!" Harry yells but it's too late, Zayn shoots his back with green. Niall groans.

"My hair!" He cries out feeling them get sticky.

"Woo!! Way to go babe." Liam laughs jogging to the showers. Louis and Harry laugh and Liam shoots them, hitting their collarbones.

"Cheater!!! You're out you fucker." Louis sputters wiping red from his neck. Harry giggles.

"You're all red."

"Look at you! Purple monster."

They both laugh. "Okay hush we gotta get Josh and Zayn." Harry giggles.

"Yeah you're right. Look there's Josh." Louis points to a figure peeping out from behind a tree in the distance. "And Zayn-?"

"Is here!!" A voice yells from behind and the sound of a trigger pulled follows. They both turn and shoot towards the sound of the voice. Harry's ball bursts inside and he gets hit with a blast of yellow while Louis nails Zayn.

Harry pouts, wiping paint off his goggles. "Get Josh, Lou."

"Of course." Louis quietly slinks closer to Josh's hiding place, taking a round route. He finds himself behind Josh in no time. He's looking for someone, him probably. Louis taps his shoulder. "Looking for me?" Josh turns in surprise and before he can react Louis kicks the gun out of his hand and shoots him.

"Aww man... This ain't fair... And pink really?"

"That's a taste of your teammate's medicine for you." Louis laughs and runs off to the changing rooms. "We won, lads."

They cheer and go in for a group hug.

"I'm getting free lunch for a month. That's kinda the only thing I care about." Niall laughs.

"Honestly me too. And you were amazing out there Harry."

He blushes and smiles softly. "Thank you." He mumbles.

Louis quickly gets changed and the three of them head to the exit, meeting the others there, driving home after rubbing their win in the other three's faces. Louis drops off Niall first, promising to see him at school tomorrow.

"Well here we are Harry, home sweet home." Louis turns to smile at Harry since Niall called shotgun.

"Thank you Lou. Today was amazing, I loved it, thank you so much."

"Of course, darling. I'll pick you up in time for school tomorrow yeah?"

He nods, getting out of the car. "Bye Lou. See you tomorrow." He leans on the driver's side window. He moves in closer and kisses Louis' cheek.


	21. XX

"I'm home mum."

"In the kitchen, love."

"Hi." Harry hugs Anne.

"Hello, Harry. How was your sleepover? And what did you do today?"

"It was good mum. I told Louis about- about everything."

"Oh honey-"

"It's okay. He took it really well."

"That is great sweetheart. Louis is really lovely."

"Mum?"

"Yes, darling?" She pushes her hair back.

"I think- I think I love him ma. I think I love Louis."

"Oh baby. I- I don't know what to say." She washes her hands.

"I- mum- I don't know what to do."

"Talk to him, darling. He seems to love you as much as you love him."

"You think?"

"I know." She ruffles his hair.

-x-

"Louis William Tomlinson."

Louis closes his books and turns around on his chair. "That's my name. How can I help you mum?" He takes off his glasses.

"What is going on with you?" She sits down on his bed.

"What do you mean?" He yawns rubbing his hands on his face.

"Harry." She says simply.

"What about him?"

"What is going on with the two of you?"

"Nothing, why?" Louis asks.

"I'm your mother, Louis. I know you. I've seen how you look at the boy."

"What are you implying Ma?"

"You like him, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Don't you?"

"I do. He's a very sweet child. But I don't like him the way you do."

"Mum, he's my friend."

"I know that... But you want him to be more, don't you?" She edges towards him.

"No, what? That's, pffft that's absurd." Louis laughs nervously.

"Louis... Mothers know everything."

"Yeah okay fine. I want him to be more so what?"

"So you ask him to be more."

"Ma come on I'm not discussing Harry with you."

"Why boobear?"

"Oh god don't call me that!" He hides his face in his hands.

"Okay okay I'm sorry. Now tell me, why won't you discuss Harry with me?"

"Because it's too weird."

"Louis don't be silly, you've always told me everything. Now if you don't want to that's a different thing."

"What? No? You know I tell you everything ma. Fine, okay. I- I kind of love Harry. And I uh planned on asking him out after our music thing."

"That's wonderful baby. When is your music thing?"

"Next week. We have rehearsal all day after school tomorrow."

-x-

"Harry, man we can't afford this anymore. The performance is in a week. You gotta sing." Josh says even before we begin practice.

"I know Josh, I'm sorry, I'll try my best okay?"

"Harry can I talk to you for a minute." Louis gestures outside.

"Um yeah, of course." They both go out and Harry leans on the balcony railing facing Louis. "What's up?"

"Nothing, Harry. I just, I really need you to do this okay? We haven't had a full practice and our performance is next week. The competition is tough okay? It's not going to be a walk in the park, you have to do this."

"Louis, I told you then and I'm telling you now. I can't. I can't do this alright? You gotta get that through your head."

"Harry you have to."

"No Louis I don't. I don't have to do anything."

"Harry, I have faith in you. You need to do this. For them. For me. Hell you need to do this for you."

"Okay, let's say, I'm able to sing right now, what happens next week? What happens when I need to sing in front of 20 other people? You and I both know I can't do that. I'm not you Louis."

"No Harry, you're not." He places his hands on Harry's shoulders. "You're me and more. Stop putting yourself down. You, Harry Styles, you're better than any of the people watching you, you're better than any of the people up on stage with you. You, are born to perform. You," he shakes him gently, "are going to do that, and you're going to show these people what you're made of Harry. You're going to make them proud, you're going to make me proud, most of all you're going to make your mom proud."

"Lou-" Harry chokes out wrapping his arms around his neck. Louis stumbles backwards and his arms come to rest at his waist.

"Shhh, I know you can do it."

"Thank you, thank you so much for the talk, thank you for believing in me, Louis. Thank you for being supportive."

"Of course Harry. Anytime, any day. Shall we go to practice now?"

"Yes please. I promise I'm going to do this, for you and for mom, and for them, because they put up with me like no one else could have."

"That's the spirit, love. Come on now." Louis places his hand on his back and gently pushes him to the room. "Okay boys, it's showtime."

They all cheer and Josh beats his drumsticks together to count everyone in. "Five, six, seven, eight."

Their voices flow together, Niall's voice melting into Zayn's accompanied with evening m rhythmic clapping and all of them joining in at the end then changing to only Liam, working like a well oiled machine because of practice. Louis held his breath as Harry's solo came and suddenly a deep, raspy voice flooded the room, throwing all of them off guard. Zayn smoothly takes over at the chorus, all of them joining at the end and Harry taking over for his solo and the boys joining when needed. Josh is happily drumming away when Zayn takes over for his next solo, all the boys joining after, then Louis taking over for his solo, Harry joining shortly, followed by Zayn. The song comes to an end with all of them singing the last lines with all they have.

They all cheer loudly. "Man, you have one hell of a voice. You're going to own it bro." Josh laughs.

"Shit Harry, you could give Zayn a run for his money." Niall laughs.

"I knew you had it in you, Harry." Liam smiles softly.

"I'm jealous bro." Zayn laughs.

Harry looks at Louis expectantly, only to find looking at Harry. Harry raises his eyebrows and Louis shakes his head. "Let's take it from the top?" Harry looks down.

"Was it not good enough?" He asks Niall in a small voice.

"No!! No it was brilliant."

"Then why is Louis-"

"Let Louis be, he'll come around."

So Harry tries to let it be and concentrates on singing.

"Let's call it a day, lads, I'm hammered." Josh sighs wiping his brow.

"Okay then. Great practice, tomorrow, same time." Louis says and covers the piano.

"Louis can you give me a ride home?"

"Of course. Get your stuff."

Harry grabs his guitar bag and they both leave saying goodbye to everyone. "Is everyone okay, Louis? You're acting weird." Harry asks softly.

"Everything is fine don't worry."

"Then why are you acting weird?"

"I'm not."

"Louis I know you."

"Harry I'm fine okay?" Louis snaps and Harry recoils.

"Okay." He whimpers, wrapping his arms around himself. Louis pulls over to the side and undoes his seatbelt. "W-what are you doing?"

"Look at me." He hooks a finger under his chin and forces him to face him. "There's something I need to tell you but I can't right now okay? I'll tell you after our performance. You sounded amazing okay? Don't doubt that for a second. Just, give me a week yeah? I promise I'll tell you."

He nods and hugs me tightly. "You're not dying are you, Lou?"

Louis laughs. "No, love , not at all. Not dying."

"Okay good." Harry mumbles into Louis' neck.


	22. XXI

Today is the day. The day they're finally going to perform. To say they're all scared shitless would be too much of an understatement.

Louis is green in the face and can't bear looking at anyone, Niall has had 5 cheeseburgers in the last 2 hours. He stress eats. Zayn won't get out of the bathroom. Harry has thrown up thrice, Liam is running laps while singing their song and Josh is screaming at himself while practicing because he feels like he isn't playing well enough. So yeah, shitless is talking mildly.

They have two hours before the performance and they're meant to be rehearsing but they find themselves unable to. They're going to fuck it up, they know it.

"Lou." Harry groans weakly.

"Harry please I really don't want to speak to anyone right now." Louis murmurs glasses on his nose and face buried in a book.

"I know! You said that half an hour ago as well. Zayn's come out of the bathroom to say if we don't start practicing in the next 10 minutes he's going back in and not coming out till the end of the day. We've managed to get Liam in the room as well. Niall is still eating so he's still stressed but he'll be fine once we start practicing. And for once I'm not feeling like I'm going to spill out my intestines. C'mon." He tugs on Louis' arm. Louis sighs resignedly and closes his book.

"Fine then. Let's go." He takes off his glasses, putting them into the case and sliding it into his bag.

Harry smiles and they both jog to the music room. "How the hell are we supposed to practice here?" Louis yells over the ruckus.

"It wasn't like this 5 minutes ago, I swear."

"Well what do we do now?" Zayn groans walking over to them with Liam, Josh and Niall tagging behind.

"I have an idea." Everyone turns to Harry.

"My place?" Everyone but Louis looks confused.

"You," he gasps out grabbing Harry's face, "are a fucking genius." He places a smacking kiss to his forehead. "Lads? Let's go."

"What the fuck are we going to do at his place?" Niall asks through a mouthful of... something.

"He has a proper music room. Guitars, a drum, a grand piano, the works."

"Then what are we waiting for? Louis you, Harry and Josh go. Me, Zayn and Niall will follow." Liam commands rushing out.

"Where are you going?"

"Getting my stuff!!" He yells breaking into a run. "I'll meet you all in the parking."

-x-x-

"Okay that's much better. I'm glad we're finally getting the hang of this." Josh wipes sweat off his brow.

"Yeah. But I think it's about time we go back to school. We can't risk missing the actual performance." Liam uncaps a bottle of water and puts it to his mouth."

"Fine then. You guys go. Harry and I will follow once we clean this up."

"Nah mate we made the mess, we'll clean it." Niall shrugs picking up a few empty bottles lying around. They all follow suit and within 10 minutes the place is clean.

-x-x-

"Harry." Louis places his hand on Harry's shaking knee. Harry stills under the gentle touch.

"I'm nervous." He mumbles, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Louis smiles gently and pulls Harry closer to him.

"Don't be. You're going to be amazing yeah?"

"What if I mess up?"

"You won't. I believe in you." He gently tucks a curl behind Harry's ear making the lad smile softly.

"These people are great, I'm hella scared Li. I'm going to fuck this up."

"Hey hey. Zayn, calm down. Deep breaths. You've practiced so much, love. You aren't going to fuck anything up okay? Your voice is the best." Liam kisses Zayn's cheek and rubs his arm.

"Nervous?" Josh nudges Liam.

"A little. You?"

"Seconds away from death. Niall you?"

"Stressed as fuck." He chews on his nails. He turns around to Louis. "Scared?"

"Yeah. I really hope my voice doesn't crack like practice yesterday."

"Devine, Josh." The teacher calls and Harry gasps.

"That's us guys." He cries in a whisper.

Josh clears his throat. "That's- that's us ma'am." He gestures towards us.

"Well come on then. Stumbling and falling they reach the stage. Louis pulls a green Harry away from his place.

"Lou-?"

"Shhh _listen._ I want you to face me when you're singing. Don't look at the crowd if you don't feel up to it, okay? Look at me. You can do it."

Harry nods and hugs Louis tightly. Louis rubs his back and slowly pulls away taking his place at the piano.

"Ready?" Ms. Elliot asks and they nod.

Josh beats his drumsticks together. "Five, six, seven, eight..."

Niall and Harry begin strumming and Louis and Liam play soft piano in the background. Niall gulps taking a sharp breath.

_"Counted all my mistakes and there's only one, standing out from the list of the things I've done. All the rest of my crimes don't come close, to the look on your face when I let you go. So I built you a house from a broken home. And I wrote you a song with the words you spoke. It took me some time, but I figured out."_

Harry quickly looks at the crowd then at Louis finally shutting his eyes and bringing the mic closer to him, joining in with Niall.

_"How to fix up a heart that I let down!!"_

They all grin and begin clapping rhythmically. Zayn begins his solo. _"Now I'm searching every lonely place, every corner calling out your name,_ _tryna_ _find you, but I just don't know..."_

 _They all join in. "Where do broken hearts go? Where do broken hearts go?"_ Josh lets out a pleased sigh, happily drumming away.

Liam pulls the mic closer and gives it his all. _"Yeah, the taste of your lips on the tip of my tongue, is at the top of the list of the things I want...."_ As the end of Liam's solo approaches everyone looks at Harry apprehensively who still stubbornly refuses to open his eyes. _"Mind is running in circles of you and me. Anyone in between is the enemy."_

Harry smiles contentedly. _"Shadows come with the pain that you're running from, love was something you've never heard enough. Yeah, it took me some time, but I figured out..."_

All of them join in, Josh still energetically drumming. _"How to fix up a heart that I let down."_

Zayn repeats his solo, killing every single note and driving everyone crazy. _"Now I'm searching every lonely place, every corner calling out your name._ _Tryna_ _find you, but I just don't know. Where do broken hearts go?"_ The last line sung passionately by all.

Harry confidently tackles his next solo, encouraged by the hoots from their classmates. _"Are you sleeping, baby by yourself Or are you giving it to someone else? Try to find you, but I just don't know. Where do broken hearts go? Where do broken hearts go?"_ He pauses for a beat. _"Tell me now, tell me now,_  
 _Tell me where you go when you feel afraid?"_

The boys sing in the background. _"Where do broken hearts go?"_

_"Tell me now, tell me now,_   
_Tell me will you ever love me again, love me again?"_

Zayn is loving his solos even if it's just repetitive. _"Now I'm searching every lonely place, every corner calling out your name._ _Tryna_ _find you, but I just don't know..."_

The boys seem to share a favorite line. The one where they get to hear their voices perfectly complement each other _"Where do broken hearts go?"_

The boys continue to harmonize together, letting Harry take the lead. _"Are you sleeping, baby, by yourself? Or are you giving it to someone else? Try to find you, but I just don't know."_

Louis gives it all he has. A beautiful passionate sound coming through, causing a deafening silence in the room.  
 _"Where do broken hearts go? Tell me where you're hiding out. Where do broken hearts go?"_

Harry finally opens his eyes and looks right at Louis.  
 _"Come on, baby, 'cause I need you now."_

Louis grins softly and sings to Harry, for Harry. _"Where do broken hearts go? Tell me, 'cause I'm ten feet down. Where do broken hearts go?"_ He pauses to catch the right beat. _"Come on, baby, come and get me out."_

Zayn repeats. _"Come on, baby, come and get me out. Come on, baby, 'cause I need you now."_

The song ends with the five of them singing together. _"Where do broken hearts go? Where do broken hearts go? Where do broken hearts go? Where do broken hearts go?"_ A final drumbeat and strum of guitar to top it all off.

They get a standing ovation and full marks. And if Louis cries with how proud he is of Harry, no one needs to know. And if Harry knows, well, that's his business.

"Congratulations boys. This was by far the best advanced music performance I've seen in my 15 years of teaching." They all smile bashfully. "And Mr Styles, you'll be getting extra credit. I did not expect you to sing, let alone do it so well and confidently. Well done."

Harry smiles shyly and nods gratefully. "Well congratulations love." Louis smiles distractedly at Harry, placing his hand on his lower back. They both sit down and the performances go on. Louis' hands get sweaty as he clutches the slim velvet box in his pocket.

"You okay?" Zayn nudges him.

"Yeah man, I'm good." Louis smiles. He shrugs and turns back to Niall and Josh. Liam and Harry are deeply engaged in a conversation. Louis swallows down his nerves and chooses to concentrate on the performances. An hour later they're finally dismissed and Louis rushes out.

"What's going on with him?" Harry asks curiously.

"I don't know. He was looking peaky and nervous even after the performance. Any idea Z?" Liam turns to his boyfriend.

"Nah man, I asked him but he wouldn't say shit. He's been slightly off all week."

"Did something happen between the two of you?" Niall asks Harry.

"No... Wait! He said he wanted to tell me something but he would only tell me after the performance. It must be that!!"

"Well what are you waiting for? Go find him!" Liam urges and Harry grabs his bag, running out.

-x-x-

Harry's been looking everywhere but he fails to find Louis. He seems to have disappeared. He can't have left campus. They have a very important test in English today. It's got heavy weightage in their final grade and Louis isn't the type to let his grade sink. Harry tries calling him again but it goes straight to voicemail. "Where are you?" He murmurs.

As a last ditch attempt he decides to check the parking. He can make out a silhouette at the far end but can't see who because of the sun. Harry supposes it's Louis. Who else would be out at school time. He quickly runs over to him to find him smoking with his eyes closed. Harry scrunches his nose in disgust. "You know those things can kill you." He remarks.

"Oh shit!" Louis jumps a foot into the air, the cigarette falling out of his hand in shock. He groans and stubs it out with his foot. "Harry what are you doing here?"

"Since you decided to disappear, I thought I'd come find you. If you needed to smoke that badly you could've just said that, three seconds wouldn't have made much difference." He makes a face of disgust.

"I don't-"

"Here, take this, your mouth stinks." He tosses him a small rectangular box of mints.

Louis has the decency to look ashamed. He feels like it's his mother that caught him smoking instead of his friend. He pops two into his mouth and gives the box back to Harry.

"Give me the pack."

"What pack?"

"Louis at least don't fucking lie." Harry snaps. Louis winces. Harry never swears.

"I don't know what you're talking about really."

"Your pack of the bloody death sticks."

"I don't have one. I don't smoke regularly. Only when I'm really stressed."

"Then you must have gone through, what, ten, today itself if you're stressed _after_   the performance." Harry sneers.

"No, it's my first, Harry, it's just-"

"Save it. I came to talk to you about whatever you said you'd tell me after the performance but now I don't even want to." He turns around but Louis grabs his wrist.

"Harry-"

"No Louis. I know I'm making a big fucking deal out of one cigarette or whatever. But one of my foster dads used to stub out his on my arms, okay? So it's a big deal to me. And it's like a betrayal of trust. I know you're not him and you didn't know, but it's just, it's not okay." He tries to yank his wrist from his grasp but Louis holds it harder.

"Harry I would never-"

"I know... I know, I just, I don't like smoking otherwise and I don't know, I thought I knew you but I don't know, it just doesn't feel like it anymore. I know it's only one cigarette but-"

"This is only the third time. The third and the last. I promise. I'm sorry. I just, I was stressed about what I had to tell you." He let's his wrist go.

"Had?" Harry steps towards Louis.

"Yeah, some other day. I'm not telling you when you're pissed at me."

"I'm not. I promise."

"You are and it's going to cloud your judgement."

"It won't. _Trust_ me." Harry grabs both his hands earnestly.

"Promise?"

"I promise, Lou." He squeezes his hands before letting go.

"I just- I-" he sighs "okay, do you remember when I asked you what would you do if I, hypothetically, asked you on a date?"

"Yes?"

"Well, I was kinda, uh, wondering what would happen if the situation wasn't hypothetical?" Louis shrugs nervously.

"Huh?" Harry looks at him as if he's grown two heads.

"Never mind." He mutters.

"No are you serious? Are you really asking me out?"

"No I'm just practicing how I'm going to ask Eleanor out." Louis snorts. "Of course I'm asking you out."

"Uh-"

"It's okay forget it. Shouldn't have asked."

"Well I suppose there was a certain response I promised." Harry says coyly.

Louis' eyes widen. "Huh?"

Harry laughs softly and steps closer to him. Louis continues to stare. Harry places a hand on his shoulder and leans forward. "Oh." Louis' wide eyes flutter shut of their own accord just as Harry's lips touch his.

Harry sighs softly and Louis hands reach his waist to pull him closer. Louis' lips taste like mint mingled with smoke and Harry would be lying if he said he didn't like it. His hands lock around his neck and Louis pulls him closer. He can't get enough of Harry. His lips taste like cinnamon. Louis tangles his hands into the bottom of Harry's curls making the boy whimper with pleasure. Louis' tongue traces Harry's bottom lip, gentle, not prying, just lightly teasing.

"I told you they'd be snogging!!" Niall yells and they break apart. Harry flushes and hides his face in Louis' neck making him chuckle.

"Niall!!!" Liam groans.

"It's okay lads. We should head back in anyway. Lunch is nearly started and I don't know about you all but I'm super hungry." Louis laughs.

"How? You were literally just eating his face." Zayn snorts.

"Shut up, Malik. You and Liam are worse and this is just the beginning." Louis says confidently. "Now move along. There's something I need from my car. Harry and I will be right there."

Niall snorts. "Yeah right. Do you need a condom? Some lube?"

"No thanks." Louis says sharply when Harry flinches at the implication of sex. Niall looks confused and Louis just glares at all of them till they leave.

Harry looks up at Louis making the lad smile softly. "It is, right?"

"What?" Harry furrows his eyebrows.

"Just the beginning?"

"Yeah, it is. It's just the beginning." Harry blushes.

"So you'll go out with me?"

"Of course." Louis smiles and kisses his forehead. "Shall we go?"

"No! I actually did need something from my car. It's a little something I got you."

Harry blushes and looks down. "You shouldn't have." He murmurs.

"I wanted to. I'm so proud of you for today."

Louis opens the car and pulls out the slim velvet box from the glove compartment where he kept it when he went to buy the cigarette. He opens it and holds it out in front of Harry.

He lets out a soft gasp. "It's beautiful." He reaches towards it before stopping abruptly. "May I?"

"Of course, it's yours."

Harry takes it out gently and runs his finger over the little quaver and the green plectrum.

"Green not only for your eyes but also because it stands for rebirth or renewal, hope, and safety. Rebirth because you came out of whatever you went through and became a stronger, better person. Hope because that's what everyone needs in life, what you give me and what I hope this will give you and safety so that you know I'll always protect you and keep you safe. Green is also supposed to alleviate anxiety, depression and nervousness so if you ever feel nervous and I'm not around, I hope that will make you feel better. Also, it's obviously a plectrum because you play guitar. And the quaver not only to signify music but also because that's the kind of effect you have on me. Calming. You make me happy, just like music. And I just, your laugh, and your voice, it's like music to me. Better than any symphony. Better than Bach or Mozart or Beethoven or anyone else. Even better than the Script." Louis smiles. "You're my favorite song. A perfect rhythm with the best beat. The most beautiful lyrics. The best voice. You're-"

Harry cups his cheek and kisses him, the other hand carefully holding the chain. Louis smiles into the kiss, pulling away moments later. "Thank you." Harry whispers against his lips, tears in his eyes. Louis smiles fondly and pulls away. "Will you put this on me?" Harry holds the necklace out to Louis.

Louis gently takes it from him and turns him around. He brings the necklace over his head and takes the clasp behind his neck, closing it. Harry shivers at the sudden feel of cold metal against his neck. Louis kisses the back of his head.

"Shall we go? The lads are waiting?"

"Yeah. Let's go. Thank you so much Lou."

Louis takes their hand, entwining their fingers. "Anytime, love." He brings up their interlocked hands and kisses the back of Harry's making the boy blush.


	23. XXII

"There they are!" Zayn huffs in annoyance. "Nice of you both to finally show up."

"Where were you guys?" Niall snorts.

"We got, um, held up, at my car." Louis says sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Harry blushes a red that would put tomatoes to shame.

"Oh god I don't want to know." Liam covers his ears.

"You guys are disgusting, absolutely disgusting. It's been one week since the performance and you've been at least 10 minutes late to each class, _each_ class." Zayn turns up his nose.

"Oh shut up, you were way way worse. At least we still turn up for class." Louis fires back making Zayn and Liam blush. He and Harry pull out chairs for themselves and sit down.

"Okay but can we really stop with the trend now? I think one week is long enough for you guys getting used to each other."

"Fucking jealous leprechaun." Louis mumbles under his breath making Harry snort.

"So what are your plans for today?" Liam asks slowly recovering from his blush.

"I'm taking Harry out." Louis states and places his hand on Harry's thigh.

"Wow I'm never getting used to this." Niall gasps in awe. Louis ignores him. He doesn't even want to know.

"What about you guys?" Harry speaks up for the first time since they sat down.

"Well I'm going out with my fam. Apparently because we missed the Sunday brunch because of bad weather we have to make it up with dinner." Liam says with a small smile.

"I'm going out with a few friends. Play some footie and stuff." Niall grins.

"I promised mum I'd teach Waliyha how to draw. She's been after my life. Now that I'm finally done with assignments and stuff at least I have the time." Zayn smiles fondly.

"I haven't seen them in so long Zee." Louis whines.

"I know man. They keep reminding me. Even mum. 'You never bring Louis and Niall over anymore.' You guys should come someday. Even you Harry. We need to plan something."

Louis and Niall nod happily. "Oh and before I forget. Lottie and Fizzy have told me that I better get y'all home soon or else they're not gonna let me out. Because every time you've come over this year it's been very rushed."

"Um, who's Waliyha?" Harry asks softly.

"She's my little sister. I have three sisters. Doniya is the eldest of us, Waliyha is younger than me and Safaa is the youngest."

"Oh. That's nice. I'd like to meet them."

"Safaa would love your hair." He grins wickedly and Louis bursts into laughter.

"No way. We're coming over when Safaa isn't over. I value Harry's hair too much." Louis laughs.

Harry looks confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Well... You know how I was showing you pictures of our atrocious haircuts the other day at your place?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. What about them?"

"They were Safaa's doing. She gives new people haircut. It's like an initiation process. I got the worst."

"No what the fuck I got a fucking Mohawk!!!" Niall yells.

"Shut up y'all, I got my hair dyed hot pink and shaved at random places."

"She let you off easy mate. You better be glad she has a crush on you." Zayn looks at Louis. Harry pouts and grabs Louis' arm possessively. Zayn laughs. "I just realised! Harry's gonna get the worst of it. She will not be pleased to find out about you both."

"Hey!! No one's touching Harry's hair. Only I touch his hair." Louis wraps an arm around him.

"Sorry bro, it's initiation. He's gonna have to take a bad haircut or Safaa will make life hell for him." Harry looks down sadly.

"I don't wanna get my hair cut. Wanna grow it out." He mumbles.

"Oh baby." Louis rubs his arm. "Don't worry. I'll make sure she doesn't cut your hair. Anyhow, we aren't going today, are we?"

Harry smiles and snuggles into Louis' neck.

-x-x-x-x-x-

"Okay Lou can I please open my eyes now."

"Not yet baby. Just a little more. Okay, now I need you to get down on hands and knees and crawl a little forward."

"Uh-"

"Don't worry, Haz. I promise you'll like it." Louis rubs his back. Harry nods and does what Louis asks him to.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Louis sits in front of Harry and kisses his nose.

"Yes." He whispers softly. Harry's eyes slowly flutter open and he looks around.

"Is this-?"

"A blanket fort." Louis nods.

"It's beautiful." He murmurs softly taking in the large fort strung with fairy lights.

"Yeah?" Harry nods giving Louis a soft kiss. "I thought we could do something simple so I just brought out my laptop. We can watch Netflix or something. I also made dinner."

"You made dinner?" Harry skeptically raises his eyebrows. "Like proper edible food and didn't burn up the house."

"Oh my god, you're horrible. I do so much for you and you imply I'd burn the house?"

"Louis you burnt tea." Harry deadpans.

"That was _one_ time, Harold. One time!"

"Well what have you made then?"

"You'll see when the time comes." Louis sits back against the black pillows and pulls Harry next to him. He switches on his laptop and opens Netflix. "Well? What do you want to watch?"

"Anything works."

"Harry..."

"Let's watch, um, reruns of big bang theory."

"Not very date material but this is exactly why I love you." Louis grins and Harry blushes.

"You l-"

"Love you? Yes, yes I do, Harold. Very much so." He grins and tucks his curl behind his ear. Harry blushes redder and hides his face in his hands.

"Uh uh, none of that." Louis tuts and grabs his wrists. Harry winces and pulls his hands away. "I'm sorry." He ignores him and rubs at his wrists. Louis takes his arms and pushes back his sleeves.

"What the fuck Harry. These are fresh!!" Louis snaps.

"I'm-"

"You promised Harry!"

"I had a nightmare okay!!" He cries.

"You promised you'd call me no matter what." He lets out a defeated whisper. He pulls at his hair. "I can't believe this. I thought you trusted me." He walks away. "I need a minute to absorb this."

"Louis-"

"No!!! Just don't alright?? You promised!"

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." Harry cries. "I didn't want to."

"Why didn't you call?" He buries his face in his hands.

"It was 2 am. I couldn't stop crying, I had to, I couldn't get the images out of my head." He wipes at his eyes. "Please! I'm sorry."

"Harry you can't keep hurting yourself." He whimpers softly.

"I know and I'm so sorry." He mumbles tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Did you apply antiseptic?"

"No."

"Idiot." Louis rushes to the bathroom and grabs the first aid kit. "Arms out." Harry wordlessly holds out his arms in front of him. Harry winces before the antiseptic even touches his arm. "I'll be gentle, I promise." Louis kisses his arms and dabs at his skin softly. Harry winces and tries to pull his arms away. After the cleaning is done Louis kisses the cuts. "All done." He wraps them in bandage and kisses that too.

"I'm sorry." A tear rolls down his cheek. Louis pulls him closer both theirs soaking through the other's shirt.

"Don't do it again." He warns firmly, wiping away his tears, switching on the laptop.

"I won't." He mumbles into Louis' shoulder. Louis wraps his arm around him and pulls him close and starts the show. A while later, Harry disrupts the mildly tense silence. "Lou?" Louis nods questioningly. "I love you." Louis grins and pulls him even closer.

"I love you." He replies softly. "Hungry?" He strokes his hair. Harry nods. Louis gets up and fetches their dinner.

"What's that? It smells delicious."

"This, dear Harold, is chicken, stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in Parma ham, with some homemade mashed potatoes."

"Stuffed?" Harry giggles.

"Yes Harold." Louis states indignantly. "Stuffed. At least that's what Jamie Oliver said." Louis hands the plates and the dish to Harry and pulls out a small foldable table. Harry places the food, plates and cutlery on the table and serves the both of them. They eat in comfortable silence.

"Lou? Where's your family?"

"They decided to give us some privacy and went out. Won't be back till late." Harry nods and smiles. When they finish eating, Louis puts away the dishes and the foldable table and starts the episode again. They watch in complete silence. Harry's right hand holding Louis' left in place at his waist and his head on his shoulders. Harry slowly fell asleep. Turning on his side to snuggle into Louis. Louis looks at him, startled. He turns off his laptop and reaches over to keep it on the bedside table. He tries to move Harry into a comfortable position on the bed but he just cuddles closer to him. Louis gently shakes him awake. "Babe, lie down properly, you're going to hurt your neck or your back."

"No, I should get going." Harry mumbles groggily.

"You're not going anywhere." Louis states forcefully.

"I don't even have my overnight bag and mum will worry. Gemma might just kill you."

"You can borrow something from me. You've done it before and call your mum and text her as well. I'm not letting you go home alone this late." Louis gets out of bed and pulls out two pairs of pajamas and throws one to Harry. "Change, you'll be more comfortable." Harry asks for a shirt and Louis throws him one, going into the bathroom to change. By the time Louis comes back Harry is already asleep. Louis smiles softly to himself and gets in bed beside him. He clicks off the fairy lights and Harry whimpers uncomfortably. "Everything okay, darling?" He rubs his arm.

"Can you please put on the lights? I can't sleep in total darkness?"

"Sure love." Louis clicks on the lights again. "Better?" He nods and turns around hiding his face in Louis' neck. Louis smiles and wraps his arm around him.

-x-x-x-x-x-

"Zayn get your ass back here." Liam calls.

"Coming, oh god. I literally just went to get us more popcorn." Zayn sighs and Niall snorts. He sets the bowl down and drops down on the couch beside Liam and cuddles into him.

"Seriously why the fuck am I here I'm fifth wheeling." Niall groans looking at Harry and Louis in their own world and Zayn and Liam disgustingly and domestically feeding each other popcorn. Louis snorts.

"Well maybe you should go get Josh."

"That's disgusting. No offense but I'd rather be with girls." Louis laughs.

"Then shut up and stop complaining." At that point the doorbell rings.

"Oh thank God. Someone is here to save me." Niall runs to get the door. "Safaa hi! How are you?" Niall hugs the girl.

"Ni? How are you here? It's been so long." She squeals happily.

"I missed you too! Come on."

"Is Louis here too?" She asks excitedly.

"Along with Liam." Safaa rolls her eyes.

"When is he not here?" She snorts. "Anyhow..." She runs past him to find Louis. "Louis!!!" She stops abruptly when she sees Louis laughing with Harry in his lap. "Who is that?" She asks loudly making both couples turn.

"Safaa!! Hi love!! Come on in." Louis smiles. She slowly moves towards him.

"Who is this?"

"He, is Harry. Love, this is Safaa."

"Hi." He mumbles softly.

"I'll get my scissors then." She shrugs. Harry tugs on Louis ' shirt shaking his head.

"Safaa, wait!"

"Yes Lou?" She smiles sweetly at him.

"Can you not cut his hair, please?" Louis asks.

"It's initiation, like you said." She shrugs coldly glaring at Harry. Harry looks down sadly.

"I know, love but Harry here is trying to grow out his hair. So maybe we could skip out on that?"

"He's a guy. Why does he want to grow out his hair?"

"Darling, there's no gender restriction to that. He wants to. So can we please?"

"No, no can do. Initiation is initiation."

"Well, maybe I could take another, in place of him?"

"Why do you care so much?" She scoffs.

"Because I love him." Niall is looking at them in awe and Zayn and Liam are trying hard not to laugh.

"Yeah okay he's getting a haircut."

"No he's not." They argue back and forth till Harry intervenes.

"Louis it's okay." He says sadly.

"But darling, I love your hair. Safaa please? You always say you love it when I'm happy don't you? I'll be very sad if you cut his hair."

"Ugh fine whatever!" She stomps off to her room.

"Wow. You actually managed to get Harry out of it." Zayn marvels. Harry gratefully kisses Louis' neck.

"I'm surprised. I thought she wouldn't budge. Zayn couldn't get me out of the second one."

"The second one?" Niall questions.

"Yeah, the boyfriend initiation. My shaved head. He saved me from the worst." They all laugh.

"Well I should get going. Mum has to go out today so I need to watch the girls. Harry, you coming or are you gonna go back with Niall or Liam?"

"I think I'll come with. I promised Gemma I'd go out with her today."

"Bye lads." Louis says cheerfully and Harry gets off his lap. They both pull on their shoes and leave hand in hand.

"Thank you for today Lou." Harry whispers when they reach his place. He quickly kisses him. "Bye."

"Harold?" Louis calls once Harry is at the door making him turn. "I love you." Harry blushes and looks down.

"I love you." He giggles. Louis smiles and waving at him, leaves.

 


	24. XXIII

"Let me introduce to you everyone, Mr Eric Jules." The announcer says dramatically and there is a smattering of applause. Harry looks around in a fit of panic.

"Hey, Harry, are you okay?" Louis rubs his thigh.

"N-no." He whimpers. "It's- it's him. The car- thunderstorms- I- Louis-"

"Hey!! Shhh, calm down baby." He rubs his thigh lovingly. "I don't understand?"

"It's him. He- he was the one who raped me." He cries softly.

"Oh my god. Harry, c'mon, we're getting you out of here." Harry is shaking almost wildly. Louis is getting panicky. "Shhh baby, please calm down, he won't touch you here okay? I've got you baby." Louis pushes up the armrest and cuddles Harry into his side. Harry shivers and hides his face in his neck, still shaking. Louis rubs his arm and kisses his forehead. Once Harry calms down Louis slowly sneaks Harry out of the hall. Harry falls apart in Harry's arms as soon as they're in an unused classroom. Louis kisses his neck, smoothing back his hair. "Babe, please, calm down. You're okay. He can't touch you here." He kisses his hair lovingly. "You wanna go home?"

"Y-yes, please." He sobs. Louis nods and gently leads him to his car. He buckles him in and kisses his forehead. Getting in the car, he quickly drives Harry to his place.

-x-x-x-

"Louis what the fuck are you doing here? What did you do to my brother?" Gemma yells and tries to pull Harry out of Louis' arms but he only clings onto him.

"God Gemma shut up. I didn't do shit. Jules showed up at school. He panicked so I brought him home."

"Jules?" Louis ignores her and takes Harry to his room. His kitten Snowflake jumps up and rests on Harry's shoulder making him smile shakily.

"Baby do you wanna lie down?" He asks gently. Harry nods and lies down. Louis smiles, tucking him in. "Sleep. You'll feel better. I'm in the living room alright? I'll just talk to your mum and Gemma."

"Don't go, Lou." Harry croaks.

"I'll be back real quick okay? Anne and Gemma are probably really worried right now." Louis rushes to the living room where Anne and Gemma are waiting tensely.

"Is my baby okay?" Anne asks jumping to her feet.

"He should be fine Anne he's just a little shaken."

"What happened?"

"His rapist showed up at school. He was giving a lecture there."

"Oh my god my baby. Thank you so much for getting him out of there, Louis."

"Anne! I love him! I wasn't going to leave him shaking. Of course I had to get him out of there."

"He's very lucky to have you." She murmurs.

"It's me who's lucky. And Gemma, rest assured, I wouldn't lay a hand on your brother without his consent." Louis scoffs going back to Harry's room. He's staring blankly at the ceiling. "Love?" He turns to Louis. "Are you okay?" He holds out his arms quietly. Louis smiles sadly and sits beside him, pulling him into a warm hug. A few tears soak through Louis' shirt. "Shhh, it's okay baby. You'll be okay." He rubs his back and kisses his hair. He sniffles and pulls away.

"Stay with me."

"Always. Now rest baby. I'll just be back."

"Don't go. Stay till I fall asleep." He pleads.

"Let him go, Harry. He probably has more important things to deal with." They both turn to the door finding Gemma leaning on the doorframe.

"Knock, knock. Hi Gemma come in." Louis remarks sarcastically.

"I don't need to knock on my brother's door."

"Yeah it's not like his boyfriend is over and it's respectful." Louis huffs.

"Lou is there something you need to do, or somewhere you need to be?" Harry asks twiddling his thumbs

"No, love, I was just gonna talk to your mum. Tell her you'd be fine. She's really worried."

"Oh, okay. Please come back soon." Louis nods and leaves the room, pushing past Gemma. She makes a face and sits beside Harry.

"Are you okay, Harry?"

"Yeah, I, I'll be fine, thanks to Louis." Harry blushes softly.

"What do you see in him?" Gemma scoffs.

"Everything you don't. He's gentle. He's loving. He cares, genuinely cares. He's a nice person. He is an amazing person."

"All I see is a sassy, rude and arrogant boy who can't get over himself."

"He's just very defensive and about sassy? Can't disagree."

"He's using you. Can't you see it Harry? Are you blind?"

"Shut up Gemma. He's done nothing but been kind to me. He's only ever been nice."

"Harry you're going to regret this so much when he hurts you, when he breaks your heart."

"No I'm not. He's not going to hurt me. He's-"

"Who's not going to hurt you, babe?" Louis calls walking in with a tray with Snowflake perched on his shoulder.

"Nobody. It's nothing Lou."

"Okay then... Anyhow, I brought us tea." Louis sets the tray down on the bed. Taking the rainbow mug, he hands it to Harry and takes one for himself.

"And the third?" Gemma asks.

"Well, I thought Snowflake would like some tea." Louis scoffs. "It's for you." Harry smiles fondly at him. He reaches for his hand and smiles when Louis intertwines their fingers, bringing his hand up to kiss it softly.

"You're literally from the 18th century." Harry laughs.

"Not like you don't love it." Louis sticks his tongue out. Gemma snorts. Louis rolls his eyes restraining himself from snapping. "Can I help you?" He asks through gritted teeth. She ignores his question. Louis calmly sips his tea satisfied with her pissed expression.

"The tea is shit."

"You must be psychic, Gemma. Because I can swear you haven't even tasted it yet."

"Guys can we please stop fighting?" Harry pleads clutching his mug tightly.

"Of course love. I'm sorry about that." Louis smiles at him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "I think I should go, love."

"Yeah you should." Gemma snaps.

"Gee thanks for the hospitality." Louis laughs. He bends down and kisses Harry's forehead. "Bye love."

"Do you have to go?"

"I'm afraid so babe. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Can I at least get a kiss?" Louis chuckles and cups his cheek, kissing him gently.

"Bye baby." He whispers looking into his eyes. "I love you."

Harry blushes, maintaining eye contact. "I love you." Louis kisses his nose.

"Yeah okay enough get out!!" Gemma sighs. They both give her a look and Louis leaves with a last squeeze to Harry's hand.


	25. XIV

_~4 years_ _later~_

"Hi babe." Louis smiles at his screen.

"Hi Lou."

"How're you doing?"

"I-"

"Hey faggot. Is it your boyfriend?"

"Harry who was that?" Louis growls.

"Nobody. Ignore them."

"Harry-" Louis is interrupted by loud howling and whooping.

"Chris, can you guys please tone it down a little?" Harry asks timidly.

"Oi fuckers, think we can tone it down a little, the fag wants to Skype his rat boyfriend." The guys whoop and catcall and proceed to be obnoxiously loud.

"Harry you _still_ haven't requested for a new roommate?"

"Louis do you- oh I'm sorry mate, hi Harry, sorry for the disturbance." Louis' roommate, Kohl comes in before he can answer. Harry and Kohl exchange pleasantries before Kohl grabs his bike keys. "Hey man, me and Kendra are going out, I'll be back late."

"Sure, see ya. Tell Kay I say hi. Oh you were saying something, when you came in?"

"Nah nothing, wanted to ask you to join us, few of her friends will be there. So I didn't wanna be the only guy there. You know how she can get around those girls."

"Yeah sorry man."

"Eh it's okay, don't let me distract you." He pats his shoulder and leaves.

"Sorry about that baby. Anyhow, about changing roommates?"

"Lou, please not again."

"Harry no. This isn't okay. You have to do something about this."

"Louis it's fine."

"Everything okay faggot. Are you gonna fight?"

"We're fine Chris. Louis, it's fine. It's only words."

"Harry-"

"Louis if this is what you want to talk about after one month of nearly no communication, then maybe we shouldn't be talking."

"Oh are you blaming that on me now? Huh? Oh Louis I'm so sorry I'm busy. Oh Louis I'm so sorry a friend needs help. It's always oh Louis this and oh Louis that. And suddenly what? It's my fault we haven't spoken at all?"

"I'm not blaming anything on you. All I'm saying is-"

"You know what Harry? Maybe you're right, we shouldn't talk." With that Louis hangs up and slams the laptop close. That night Kohl comes back to see Louis reading a book.

"Wow man. I didn't expect you guys to be done, especially since it had been like a month since you guys spoke to each other."

"We had a fight."

"Oh. I'm sorry. What about?"

"Lack of communication and his asshole roomie."

"When was the last time you met him bro?"

"Close to 3 months. Haven't seen him since the start of this sem. Been too busy with footie practice and the musical. It's about a 2 and a half hour drive from here to Durham."

"Make that drive bro, talk to him. I know end of sem is close and you're both really stressed but you need to talk to him. It's Wednesday, go Friday after classes and stay with him for a day. Come back Sunday evening. And yeah, don't force him to change his roommate."

"Kohl have you seen the way the guy talks to him?"

"Louis you're probably only making him feel like he can't stand up for himself. Let him think for himself and make decisions."

"Yeah okay fine."

"What about your other friends though?"

"Liam is at Kingston which is another 3 hour drive in the opposite direction and Zayn's at Oxford which is another 1 hour 15 minutes from Kingston. Niall is at Trinity in Dublin which is nearly five hours."

"Damn when did you five last meet?"

"End of last academic year. Zayn and Liam make the drive on weekends so they see each other frequently. Niall usually comes at the end of semester. But at the end of fall he was kinda busy so I guess we'll be seeing him end of this month." Louis yawns, checking his calendar. 20 more days. "Or early May because he might want to spend time with family." Kohl hums in understanding.

"Well when are you thinking of making the drive?"

"Friday like you said, day after tomorrow, after my morning lecture." Kohl nods and goes to the bathroom. Louis slides under the covers and takes off his reading glasses, lying down. He feels uneasy. He and Harry never go to bed on a bad note. When Kohl comes back, they say their goodnights and he switches off the lights getting into his bed.

Louis resigns himself to a night of restless sleep when his phone pings. He immediately reaches for it.

**_Haz_ **   
**_1 new message_ **

Louis quickly double taps the notification

**_Can we talk?_ **

He sighs.

**I think we should.**   
**I'm sorry**

**_I'm sorry_ **

Louis laughs softly.

**I shouldn't have meddled in your business and questioned your decision even if I didn't agree with it**

**_I shouldn't have snapped at you. You were only looking out for me._ **

**I'm glad you texted. Wasn't going to get much sleep otherwise.** **Wyd** **Friday?**

_**Nothing have a strategic marketing lecture at 1 till 3 then I guess I'll just be studying for finals, why**_?

**I'm coming to meet you.**

**_Really?_ **

**Yes. I miss you. Fuck I miss you so much baby. Miss holding you and kissing you and cuddling you.**

**_I miss you too Lou. So fucking much. I can't wait for Friday._ **

**I love you darling, go to sleep. Goodnight.**

**_Goodnight boo. I love you._ **

Louis plugs his phone back into the charger and falls into peaceful slumber

 _~Friday_ ~

"Louis!!!" He's suddenly being tackled by a warm body and a mass of brown curls. He catches himself in time preventing himself from falling flat on his arse and holds Harry up. Harry's legs are tightly wrapped around his waist.

"Oh baby." Louis mumbles into his neck, spinning with him in his arms. "I've missed you so much it's been months."

"Missed you too." Harry sniffs.

"Haz are you crying?" Louis pulls back slightly to look at his face.

"No I'm just very happy to see you." He chuckles wetly.

"I thought you'd be in your room."

"Needed some peace and quiet to study. We can go up there now."

"Yeah we'll do that once I kiss my baby." Louis fondly taps their foreheads together. Harry gets off him, feet planting on the grass with a rosy cheeks. Louis grins and wraps his arms around his waist, kissing his nose first, following up with an Eskimo kiss. Harry sighs happily wrapping his arms around his neck. Louis slowly leans in to kiss him.

"Oh look the fag's boyfriend is here." Harry immediately pulls away. "Is that why you couldn't get away from the room fast enough?" Chris snorts.

"Shut up Chris." Louis rolls his eyes, having dealt with him for two years.

"Don't talk to me faggot." He spits.

Louis breathes in deeply. "C'mon Harry." Louis grabs his hand and pulls him along.

"Don't forget to put a sock on the doorknob." Chris snorts.

Louis nearly jumps at him knowing Harry still isn't comfortable with the mention or implication of sex but Harry holds him back. "Shut up Chris." Harry snaps. "C'mon, we're going to my room Lou." Louis nods and quietly follows him.

Once they enter the room Louis falls onto Harry's bed. Harry laughs and lies next to him, their bodies touching, nearly falling off due to lack of space. Louis turns on his side, using his elbow to hold him up and his hand as a head rest. Harry copies him. Louis quietly entwines their fingers and scoots closer to him. Harry opens his mouth just a little looking like he wants to say something but Louis is quick to shut him up with a kiss. It's not comfortable, not in the least, but they don't care, it's been months since they kissed. Louis pushes himself back and rests his head on the pillow and Harry quickly straddles him quickly leaning down to kiss him. Louis grabs Harry's waist and carefully flips them, planking above him, wasting no time in kissing him again. Louis traces his tongue over Harry's lips, gently prodding, asking for entrance. Harry moans softly, opening his mouth, let Louis do what he wants. Harry bucked his hips grinding against him. Louis gasps and continues probing Harry's mouth, licking into it lovingly. He tilts his head and gently nips at his bottom lip making him gasp. He pulls away, his hands resting on his waist, sitting between his knees. He falls on to the bed next to Harry and pulls him close. He hides his face in Louis' neck making him laugh softly and kiss his hair.

"Missed you." Harry mumbles.

"Missed you more, love."

"How long are you gonna stay with me?"

"I'll be here till Sunday, probably gonna leave sometime in the evening."

"You'll stay with me, here?"

"Of course love. How are you though? Are you taking your medication? Are your classes okay?" Harry nods.

After Jules had showed up at the school, Harry had spiralled into depression and frequent panic and anxiety attacks. He began getting triggered more frequently and more easily. After taking him to a doctor, he was found to be having PTSD which was obviously in a worse state after seeing the person who caused the trauma. He was given anxiety meds. He's getting better but still has bad days. He had therapy for 2 years before coming to Durham.

"Good love. That's good." Louis murmurs pushes his hair away from his eyes and kissing his forehead. Harry preens.

"Oh check out. It's the fags." Chris sneers entering the room. Louis immediately gets off the bed and is at his collar before Harry can stop him.

"Listen you dickhead. I don't like doing this every time I visit. You should know that Harry takes your bullshit because he's too nice but I'm here for a little over a day and I won't hesitate to knock out your fucking teeth if you even come close to him. And if I find out you're giving him a hard time, I'll drive down from Manchester and kick your sorry arse so hard you'll wish you weren't born." He growls in his face. "Are we clear?" He shakes him. Chris nods. "Now get going." He leaves him. Chris quickly slinks out.

Louis turns out to be smothered with Harry. He pushes him against the wall and explores his mouth. Louis moans falling pliant to his force. Louis' eyes flutter caressing Harry's cheeks like little butterfly kisses making his heart beat faster. Harry finally pulls away, panting. "That was so hot fuck." Harry moans.

Louis laughs. "Yeah baby? You like that?" He nods.

"Love it when you get all dominant and angry it's so hot." Louis laughs again. Harry grins at him and cuddles into his arms.

 


	26. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is sappy and domestic as fuck and so fucking self indulgent i love it

"Miss Jem are you ready?" Harry walks into the room. "Jemima Tomlinson!" He yells, seeing the little girl still in bed.

"Papa stop screaming." She whines.

"You, miss are very late." He glares disapprovingly.

"What's the matter, babe, why are you yelling?" A half naked Louis walks in with tousled hair.

"Daddy!!" Jemima squeals running out of bed to hug her father.

"Hi monkey, you're getting late."

"I know, I'll quickly get dressed." She sprints away.

"Jemima wait for papa. I'm coming to help."

"Papa I'm a big girl. I don't need your help." She shouts irritably. Harry looks torn between going in and respecting her wishes. Louis laughs and wraps his arms around his husband's waist kissing his shoulder.

"She'll be fine, love, she's four." Harry nods, defeated and leans back into Louis.

"She's growing up too fast." He sighs sadly.

"I know." Louis laughs wetly. "Seems like yesterday when we were in the hospital with Gem and she slapped me." He grins manically.

"You seem to be very happy for someone who got slapped." Harry looks at him over his shoulder. He hums in agreement.

"I honestly thought she'd always hate me. And I can't not be happy, I got the greatest gift of my life that day."

"Sap." Harry giggles gently butting his head. "Honestly I thought she was gonna murder you when you proposed," he blushes, "and she was supposed to _like_ you. You guys were getting along." Louis plays with Harry's ring.

"I never thought she'd agree to surrogate for us. At least not when I was 17." Harry snorts.

"You weren't thinking about my sister being a surrogate for our future baby at 17, Lou."

"You don't know that Harold. Why do you think I was in such a hurry to propose. We hadn't even ever lived together. What if we weren't compatible housemates?"

"Shut up, you knew from the get go. And we were pretty much living together in the last year of high school." Harry rolls his eyes fondly.

"Daddy, Papa, I'm ready." Jemima comes into the room completely dressed. They're both impressed until Louis notices her mismatched socks and snorts. "What?" They both ask.

"She gets that from her Daddy I suppose." Louis laughs almost proudly pointing to her feet. Harry laughs lightly and Jemima pouts.

"What is it?" She huffs.

"Your socks baby, they're mismatched." Harry says gently pulling away from his husband and kneeling in front of his daughter.

"But they look pretty papa." She looks at him with big eyes. Harry sighs fondly and makes to correct her but Louis stops him with a hand on his shoulder. He squats down next to Harry and places his hand on his knee.

"Yes love, it looks, very pretty. It's Jemima style, yeah? Come on now, let's quickly have breakfast, so we can make it to school in time."

She grins at him, "I love you daddy," she says softly and then she promptly hugs him. Louis feels a lump in his throat and happy tears in his eyes.

"I love you too Jemima." He holds her tightly. And oh, Harry thinks, Louis never uses her full name, except for when she's in trouble. Harry smiles when he realises that Louis' never meant it more than he does now. She then throws herself into Harry's arms nearly making him topple.

"I love you as well papa. Just as much as daddy." She mumbles.

"I love you too, princess. Just as much as daddy." And if Louis tears up a little no one needs to know, except Harry totally does. After a quick breakfast, Louis pulls on some sweatpants and a shirt and drops Jemima at the bus stop.

"God I love my baby girl." Louis sighs when he gets home making Harry give him a dopey smile. "One thing I still don't understand. When she said as much as me, did she mean she loved you as much as she loved me or as much as I love you?" He asks seriously.

"Of course the former, Louis."

"It was the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed." Harry smiles softly, snuggling up to him making him let out a surprised sound.

"I love you."

"I love you more." Louis mumbles into Harry's neck and pulls him closer in his arms making him smile even more. "I can't believe we've been together for almost 12 years and married for 5. Almost 6. I can't believe I'm nearly 29."

"Oldie." He laughs poking him.

"Shut up... You're turning 29 two months after me you ass."

"Yeah yeah whatever. I love your old ass."

Louis has a shit eating grin on his face. "Marry me." He says fondly. Harry laughs and kisses him lovingly.

"Been there, done that." He tries to sound like it's a painstaking task but his fond, contended smile says otherwise. "Come on now, we can finally have breakfast."

"Didn't we already? With Jem?"

"You call juice and toast, breakfast? What happened to my pancake loving husband?"

Louis grins. "I'm your husband." Harry laughs.

"Have been for almost 6 years. Come on now, the pancakes won't make themselves." Harry drags him to the kitchen.

"Hey, Haz. Sit, I'll make them. You've had a long week at the bakery." He kisses his eyelids. Harry smiles gratefully and sits on the counter. "Baby don't you think you should take a day off?"

"Did you take a day off while preparing for the Curious Incident musical?"

"That's different Harry." Louis gathers all ingredients, mixing them. "I was one man in charge of 20 children. You've got professionals working for you. And I'm on a week long break now, aren't I? When was the last time you took a day off?" He greases the pan and puts the batter in.

"I like it at the bakery Lou. It's not just a job to me, it's my life."

"Baby I know. But you do need a break. Just take today off. I can call Zayn, he's free and I'm sure he'd love to go over and check things were going smoothly."

"Zayn can't bake." He stresses.

"Harry, love, don't make me force you." He flips the pancake. "You're taking a day off, willingly or unwillingly."

"But Lou-"

"Harry, it's final." He flips it again. Once done he puts it on a plate and pushes it towards Harry. "Eat Harold." He starts making another. Harry huffs and drizzles maple syrup over the pancake. He takes a bite and moans softly.

"I'm so glad you learned how to make pancakes."

"Shut up, I've always made the best pancakes."

"Uh huh.. I still remember the pancake day incident." He snorts, forking pancake into his mouth.

"That was the first time ever. You have admitted I make better pancakes than you." He accuses childishly.

"Okay okay fine agreed. You make the best pancakes ever."

After breakfast Louis tucks Harry in, much to his outraged protests. "Harry, go to sleep or we're not having sex for a week." And huffs and mumbles about it not being fair. After overcoming his initial fear of sex, Harry turned out to be an extremely horny and kinky person. Louis would often tease him that he only married him for his dick to which Harry would always point out that they only had sex after Louis proposed. When Harry wakes up he finds a note taped to his forehead, falling over his eyes. He pulls it off and reads it quickly.

_If you're reading this then you're awake and I'm probably not home. I went to pick Jemima... I'll be back soon, and yes I know, no ice cream, she's got a mild cold. I love you._

Harry smiles softly at that. Just then he hears a squeal and a laugh followed by hushing, making him smile even wider. He throws off his covers and runs downstairs.

"Papa!!!" Jemima squeals running to hug her father. Harry lifts her up and spins her around.

"See bug, I told you to be quiet. Now you've gone and woken papa." Louis sighs.

"Nah it's okay Lou. I had just woken up when you guys came back. Thanks for picking her up even though it was my turn."

"Harry Edward Styles- Tomlinson! I will spank you. This is my daughter as well, I'm not doing you a favor by picking her up." Harry blushes knowing Louis could mean than quite literally and Jemima giggles.

"Papa you know people at school are very mean." She suddenly pouts.

"Why, darling, what happened?" He puts her down on the couch and kneels before her. Louis frowns curiously and sits beside his daughter.

"They made fun of my socks and my teacher told me to wear ones with same colors from tomorrow. I told them that my daddy said it was my style and that it was pretty but they laughed at me." She sniffles.

Louis coos softly and pulls her into his lap. She hides her face in his chest. "Baby, why didn't you tell daddy at school. I would've talked to your teacher. That's not very nice. Your style is amazing and if you want you will wear your socks mismatched."

"I'm sorry daddy, I thought you'd scold me."

"Why would I love?"

"I thought that maybe you lied about liking my style. That's what Mason said."

"I think I'll have to talk to Mason's parents." Louis growls. "I promise, darling, I love your style okay? Don't let Mason or anyone else tell you any different."

"I'll run your bath yeah?" Harry says softly, not wanting to intrude.

"Yes please papa." She mumbles snuggling into Louis' arms. Harry smiles and leaves to get the bath done. Louis lifts her and takes her into the bathroom.

"Daddy? Papa?" Jemima enters the living room after getting dressed finding Harry cuddled with Louis.

"Feel good love?" Harry asks her softly beckoning her towards them. She climbs on Harry's lap and rests her head on his shoulder.

"My two babies." Louis chuckles.

"Silly daddy. Papa is too big to be your baby."

"Naw that's not true. He's my baby. I buy him things like I do for you, don't I?" Harry blushes and Jemima giggles.

"Papa what's your favorite gift from daddy?" He smiles at the innocent little girl and plays with his wedding ring. Louis smiles knowingly and kisses his head.

"Me too, love, me too." He murmurs happily. Jemima looks confused. "Papa says it's his ring." Louis explains.

"Daddy what's a divorce?" She than asks shocking both of them.

"Why do you ask sweetie?"

"Emily's parents are getting one. Is it fun? Can we get one too?"

"No baby. A divorce isn't fun or anything. When two people who are married don't love each other anymore, they get a divorce, which means, they get separated. So no, papa and I won't be getting a divorce, because I love your papa very much."

"A little too much, if I do say so myself." They all turn to the source of the sound.

"Niall!!" Harry yells setting Jemima on Louis' lap and running to envelop him in a warm hug.

"Hello Neil." Louis pretends to be disgusted but can't help smile fondly. Jemima pulls away from Louis and jumps into Niall's arms.

"Uncle Niall."

"Hi Tommo Jr. How are you?"

"I'm good. I missed you."

"And us? Did you miss us?" Liam pipes up.

"Uncle Liam!" Jem kicks out excitedly, narrowly missing Niall's crotch "And Uncle Zayn!! Oh my god... You're all here." Harry hugs the both of them wordlessly.

Louis finally gets up from the couch and crushes Niall into a hug. "Missed you mate," doing the same for Zayn and Liam.

"Not that I mind, but how are you all here?" Harry asks taking Jemima into his arms.

"Why? Can't we visit, our little Tomlinson here." Niall pinches her cheek.

"I'm not little." She huffs.

"Of course not. My apologies, princess Tomlinson." Niall bows. They all laugh and settle down. Zayn rests against Liam causing a lot of raised eyebrows.

"Uh, we're back together?" Zayn shrugs sheepishly.

"What happened to that girl, what was her name?" Louis snaps his fingers trying to recall the name. "Cheryl, yes."

"She wasn't Zayn." Liam says simply and pulls Zayn close.

"When did this happen?"

"Two months ago." Niall says.

"You _knew_?" Harry exclaims, outraged.

"Chill, mate. I just found out. They were eating each other's faces when I reached Liam's place." They fall back into easy conversation talking about their different jobs, happily.

"Hey Harry." Niall says suddenly. Harry hums an acknowledgment.

"How- how's Gemma?"

Harry frowns. "She's okay? Why?"

"Err, there's something I need to tell you." He breathes deeply.

"Okay?"

"I'm, I'm kind of, seeing Gemma?"

" _What_?" Harry almost shrieks jerking Jemima out of her sleep.

"I told you to let Gemma handle it." Louis groans, slapping his forehead. "Now you've really gone and done it."

"Louis Tomlinson!!! You knew?" Harry pulls away.

"Baby-"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Love, he just told me this morning. He told me that he would be coming over to talk to you about it."

"This is not okay, Horan. My sister is off limits. I told you that at the farewell, at graduation, at our wedding, when Jem was born, what part of off limits do you not understand?"

"Harry, honey, just listen to him yeah?"

"I can't believe you're taking his side!! Would you be okay with him dating Lottie?" Harry gets up furiously and goes to their bedroom. Liam diligently takes up the task of distracting Jemima.

"Lou-"

"It's okay Ni. Don't worry, I'll speak to him, it'll be okay."

"I, I promise I didn't manipulate her or anything-"

"Ni, I know what happened, it's okay, he'll understand. He's very protective of her. I'd be the same way if this was about Lottie." Louis pats his shoulder and goes to the bedroom door finding it locked. He knocks softly. "Baby, it's me." He says sweetly.

"Go away."

"Harry, please, don't do this, let me in, lovely." He pleads.

"No I don't wanna talk to you."

"Please, Hazza, let me explain, bub. There's a story behind this. Niall's your best friend, baby." The lock clicks and Louis smiles pushing the door open. Harry is indifferently swiping on his phone. "Put your phone away, Harry." Louis commands softly.

Conditioned to obey Louis in the bedroom, Harry dutifully puts it back into his pocket.

"I told Niall to stay away."

"It's Gemma who approached him, love. She just found out that her best friend had been having sex with her boyfriend behind her back."

"She could have come to me." Harry murmurs, hurt.

"Baby, would you have cuddled her and watched sappy movies with her while she cried for 12 hours without asking her what was wrong?" Harry shakes his head, no. "That's what Niall did. And then they just became friends. Niall made sure to not make a move on her. But last week, she just kissed him, out of the blue, while they were both completely sober. Niall was talking about his day. You told him to stay away from the girl he'd been crushing on for years and he did just that because he loves you but he wasn't going to push her away."

Harry nods. "I'm sorry I snapped at you." Louis shakes his head and kisses his forehead.

"Baby, I want you to go out and apologise to Niall and tell him you're okay with him and Gemma. Can you do that for me?" Harry nods. "Good. And don't worry, Niall will take good care of your sister."

After all was said and done, they all sat down sharing stories about Jemima.

"Your turn Haz, tell us about your favorite moment." Zayn urges him.

"Okay. So she was a little over a year old. Maybe a year and 5 months. Louis hadn't been around much that week," Louis shifts uncomfortably. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not blaming you, I know you were busy." He kisses his cheek and pats his thigh. "Anyhow, Jemima was always Daddy's princess so of course, after not seeing him for almost a week she was getting all hissy. On Saturday, Lou has half days right? So Jem and I were just practicing walking in the living room. She was finally walking with only one hand held. Lou entered while we were in the hallway and she squeals real loud and leaves my hand. Louis was literally frozen with his coat in his hand. She just kinda of stumbled over to him, right across the hallway. Even fell down twice but was up before either of us could make a move. And Louis-"

"No shut up now." Louis laughs holding a hand over his mouth. Harry pulls it off.

"Louis just held her real tight and cried for a solid ten minutes." They all burst into laughter.

"Gimme a break, I was seeing my baby girl after almost a week and she had taken her first steps right into my arms, I had the right to cry."

"Lou you big fucking softie." Niall laughs.

"Oi!! No swearing when my daughter is asleep in your lap."

And just like that, life went on for the Tomlinsons. One short year later, Zayn and Liam decided to get hitched and adopted a 6 year old boy, not having the time for an infant with their busy lives.

Niall and Gemma tied the knot 3 years after Zayn and Liam and had twins in the next year. Harry was finally off meds completely and done with therapy.

His bakery had taken off. Everyone wanted to start off their day with a treat from Sweet Nothings.

Louis had become a full time director and organiser for musicals at Broadway. They couldn't be happier. There were years of hardship and fights ahead. But right now, as Louis lay with his husband and daughter, he knew it was going to be worth it

_**~** _ _**fin~** _


End file.
